Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Down the yellow brick road and over the rainbow!

Okay! So have you missed me? I think this is the longest I have gone without blogging in a year!!! I had to take a break to clean my house! UGH! I tried, it still isn't done...but its better! I'm hoping to finish Friday!

We have a big weekend coming up! Madyson's Dance Recital is Saturday!! So excited! But first, let me finish telling you about dreams and such.

Like I said, my dream was to be an event planner. I had my plan worked out and I was right on track. I had experience in multiple fields, I was actually good at what I was doing...I was living my dream.

Then one night, Aubrie Kate started throwing up. She couldn't stop. We went to the emergency room and they did an X-ray. The X-ray showed she had an obstruction in her intestine. The doctor explained to us that normally they would rush the child to surgery. But because the only symptom AK had was the throwing up and swollen tummy,  she wanted to wait. We had to go home and come back 48 hours and they would redo the Xrays. They gave us a list of things to watch for and we were to come straight back if any of these things happened. 

While we were on watch I had to stay home from work. I am the mom, and that is a mom's job. When I returned to work (AK was cleared of the obstruction) my heart was no longer there. All day I sat in tears at the thought of not being able to be a mom to my children. Also struggling was my marriage. Todd is an amazing husband but he works ALOT. and with me working 80+ hours a week...he was feeling overwhelmed and a bit forgotten. Was it worth me having my dream job if it wasn't making me and my family happy?

 I decided to do something that I hadn't done in a long time. I turned to God. I sat down with God and I said, okay Lord. I am back and I am ready. For years I have been living my dream but I am starting to feel that this isn't your dream. So I am open. I am ready to serve you. I set a date. I said, Okay Lord, May 8th is my day. If we don't have a plan by then, I will quit my job and stay home.

That afternoon I went to pick my girls up at school and the director of the preschool asked me if I was interested in changing jobs. I automatically perked my ears up and said, "what do you have in mind?" She explained how a position was opening up at the church and the lady would be leaving May 8th. I told her I would think about it, got the girls, got in the car, and started sobbing. 

I mean, how much clearer did God need to be? But work for a church? Really? Me? 

I talked to Todd about it. He said to try and if it worked out then it worked out.

That night, I had another heart to heart with the Lord. "God, you really want me to work for a church? Are you sure? I know I said serve, but really??"

I decided to see what would happen. I emailed the pastor of this department and started communication with him. I filled out paper work, turned it in. He emailed me back to tell me they would be doing interviews later in the summer. I continued my job at the zoo, because I felt that was what I was suppose to do. One day, before a big event, I just broke down. I was so tired, I had missed Aubrie's first steps, I had missed Madyson's first Birthday party she was invited too...I was miserable. I again begged to God to please use me as a servant, that I was ready.

I got a phone call to come in for an interview for the position at the church. I did. Then a few weeks later, my ebony came into my office at the zoo and told me she got a phone call from the church wanting a reference. That afternoon, all of my references called me to tell me they had been contacted. A few days later I was sitting in my office at work, and my phone rang. It was the church, they wanted to offer me the position. 

I was ecstatic and depressed all at the same time. I was so happy God was back in my life but depressed because I was going to give up my dream, to follow his. I kept thinking to myself, how much fun can I have working at a church? There are no elephants, no tigers, no networking, no parties....

But I was committed and I knew it was something I had to do. 

Here I am 2 months away from my 1 year anniversary and I can tell you that I am so glad I allowed myself to follow God's dream for me.

Working for the church has changed my life. I now think before I speak, I am involved with a small group, I have friends, I have my family back, but most importantly, I have a relationship with God. A great relationship.

And the sprinkles on top of my cupcake? Well...I still get to help with the zoo events. They say they "value" my knowledge and let me tell them what worked for me and what didn't. I give them names to call and then get to show up the day of the event and assist in anyway I can. The excitement is still there but the stress is gone.

Which brings me to my book I have been waiting to tell you about.

If you remember a few days ago I went to the new library and got a book. I checked out God Has A Dream for Your Life by Shelia Walsh.

God Has a Dream for Your Life

Remember her? The writer of my beloved Princess GiGi Books!

This book has been an easy read. Something I need! Here is what the description says about the book...
"Walsh, a popular songwriter and Women of Faith core speaker, has worn many hats (and shoes) over the years. It hasn't all been easy, however. While cohosting The 700 Club some years back, Walsh entered a psychiatric facility battling depression, feeling that she was living in a self-made virtual prison. She writes that though she gave her life to Christ at age 11, she could only give him her shame at 35, having lost the ability to dream and love as God had intended. Utilizing themes from The Wizard of Oz, Walsh takes evangelical women on a journey through Oz and weaves life lessons throughout. She asks poignant questions on gaining the freedom to love and be loved, to forgive and be forgiven. Claiming that most women go "gray" as a result of extinguished dreams and lifelong disappointment, Walsh tells them to believe in love rather than judgment, recognizing that God frequently uses pain as a bridge between individuals. The book opens forcefully, with Walsh making colorful connections between the messiness of life and God's sovereign, loving care."

I loved how Walsh used the Wizard of Oz as a background to her book. It made it easy for me to understand. It was something I, a regular person, could relate too.

My journey, my plan, was my Kansas. It made me gray. Once I decided to follow my yellow brick road (trusting in God) I found my Oz (happiness in life, fulfillment being a servant of God)


3 comments:

  1. That looks like a book I would love! This was a great post :)

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  2. What a great testimony! Changing jobs is NEVER easy, especially when you are having to leave your dream, but we could never be more happy than when we are living in God's dream for us! Thanks for sharing, and I'm definitely going to have to check out that book.

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  3. What a great post, Sarah! I loved reading about how God orchestrated this MAJOR change in your life. It is so neat to see Him work, isn't it? I can tell you that being a mother to a toddler at twenty five before my two year anniversary was certainly not my plan, but it was HIS plan and it is THE best plan I could imagine!

    Also, I'm going to add that book to my summer reading list!

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