Wednesday, October 31, 2012

The Last Days.

The last days have been a blur. A worldwind of emotions. A time I will treasure but never want to repeat.

Monday afternoon Todd called me and said, "The nurse doesn't expect her to be here much longer". Her-meaning his mom. His mother who has fought breast cancer for almost the last decade.

He went to be by her side. Asking me to stay with the girls. Monday night was awful-he was there. I was here. I didn't want to call and text him a lot. But I wanted to call and text him a lot. Finally-after a night of not sleeping I had the girls ready for my mom to take to school and let to be by his side at 5am Tuesday morning. We sat by his mom's side for the next 28 hours. Taking turns through the night praying over her. Letting her know we love her and its okay for her to leave.

It was a long night.

Wednesday morning, I left her house to go back to work. I needed to be around happy children. and I  needed to see my girls. Todd called around 1 and let me know he was coming home and we were going to take the girls trick-or-treating. Something that is almost foreign to them since we have done the church festival most of their little lives. We got all dressed up and loaded up in the truck and drove around the neighborhood and let them trick-or-treat. They had a blast.

Around 7:15 we got a call from Todd's grandmother. The time was close. At 7:28 a message saying "she's gone baby".

She was surrounded by her mother, sisters, husband, and best friends. I am a 100% sure she waited until Todd was not there because she never wanted him to see her vulnerable.

We dropped the girls off with my parents-telling them we had an errand to run and they could go in and eat candy. We headed to her house. Her body was still there-peaceful and calm. Todd went back and spent a few last minutes before the funeral home came. The hospice nurse joined us to handle all the final details and the house filled with love from family and friends.

Kathy was an amazing Mother-in-law. From our first lunch date to O'Charley's, where she made it clear that Todd was a handful and was I prepared for him...and did I know she was sick...and all that " I am the main woman in his life" front. To our final night last night-where I stood over her and talked to her almost lifeless self about how Todd and I will take care of each other. The past 7 years my life has been so filled with extra love and joy because of the amazing mother-in-law I was blessed with. I have so many memories that I thank God for.

Tonight-we celebrate because Kathy is now cancer free. She fought her fight and she can now be at peace. Tomorrow-we tell the girls. The hardest part, I believe, in this journey.

Kathy's verse she claimed during her battle was Philippians 4:13. "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." She did all things-and he gave her strength.  May her strength live on through all those she touched.

Saturday, October 27, 2012

The race.

2 Timothy 4:7: I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, and I have kept the faith.

Weeks ago, Madyson and I were laying in the bed discussing death and the fight grandmomma has fought against Cancer. As my 6 year old laid beside me...with tears rolling down her face asking me, "what can I do to save Grandmomma?" I set speechless.

I have learned, as a parent, when you dont have the answer...God will step in. The verse found in 2 Timothy 4 came to mind, then the thought of breast cancer awareness month followed. I shared with madyson how in order to find a cure for Cancer, researchers needed money/funding. And one way they get this is by walkers/runners in marathons fundraise for them. Thats all it took. She asked if she could participate in a walk so she could "save the grandmommas" for other kids so they wouldnt have to watch their grandmother suffer, the way she has. How could I say no? We signed her up online and discussed raising $250 for breast cancer. I thought that was reasonable. Thanks to amazing friends and family, Madyson raised $500.

Today, we got up and headed to the state capital to make strides. My brother, sister-in-law, neices/nephew, mom, todd and Madyson were all registered walkers. Aubrie kate and I planned to cheer them on.

The race began and they were off. Aubrie kate and I found a spot near the finish line and entertained ourselves with the ipad and snacks.

45 minutes into the race my mom, SIL, todd and madyson returned. My mom (a breast cancer survivor) was walked out, my SIL had bronchitis and the cold air wasnt helping and todd and madyson had to help them get back.

I could tell Madyson wasn't done and to be truthful, I was frustrated Todd didnt keep going with her. ( I know hormones...) I asked her if she wanted to finish-she said she did...with me. So 5month pregnant momma took her by the hand and we cut over to the 1mile sign where they had left off and hand and hand we walked (with daddy)  the rest of the 2.2 miles. the whole time I prayed for no contractions and heart problems. I knew Madyson needed to finish this goal for grandmomma and for her own mental being. One thing about Madyson is she processes things like an adult. The weeks leading up to the walk, she kept telling me..."Im going to tell grandmomma how I am helping find a cure for Cancer so when you are a grandmomma you wont have to be sick like her."

We got to the 3 mile wasnt much longer til we were done. Once she finished, she said..."I finished the race"

Yes baby girl, you did.

We headed out for lunch at the diner and then home for a nap. We had been home a few hours when we got a text from Todds stepdad....

"You might want to make it to the house today...moms not doing good."

Todd and I left the girls with my mom and headed over. When we arrived, we were heartbroken to find she is no longer able to communicate, having a very hard time swollowing, and

We have hours, days, maybe a week left with Grandmomma....and all I can think is..."She has fought the good fight."

Madyson finishing the race. Pictured with My mom-cancer survivor.
The race of life is a difficult and challenging one. Sometimes, in order to finish the race we need to start over. Sometimes, we just need to keep the faith. In Hebrews, we are told "..... let us run with endurance the race that is set before us." The race God has planned for me is different than the race God has planned out for you. May you run your race with endurance and faith, always fighting the good fight.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

preparing for life with 3 little ladies!

Amelia will be making her appearance in just a few short months. Its crazy to think we are entering the 17th week of pregnancy!
With that said-we are slowly beginning to prepare for life with 3 little ladies. Todd has accepted the idea that one day...(hopefully) we will have 3 weddings to plan for. Well...2 right now. Madyson said she's living with us forever and never getting married!

The girls have always shared a bedroom-but now personal space is becoming an issue so we are beginning to plan for each of the 3 girl's new rooms.
And with their own personalities and quirks-we venture into the first taste of life with 3 girls.

Madyson wants her room to be "Colorful, Creative, and have a reading nook".
Right now we are going to use these awesome Pottery Barn duvets that Todd's mom bought for the girls before she was sick. We have been saving them for this occasion! They fit Madyson perfectly.

Aubrie is a Diva. Bottom.Line. When I asked her what color she wanted to paint her walls, she said...."White". Ok? Then I asked what other colors she wanted to use..and she said "silver and gold". When we went fabric shopping this was her favorite...good grief :)Plume Abstract Gold

So Miss Amelia is next on the list. I want her room to be "hers". Indicative of her own personality (which I believe is different from both sisters because this pregnancy is WAY different) and reflective of being a very prayed for blessing. But nothing is coming to me. I have pinterested tons of ideas....none "fit". She has a very special role in this family. Not as the "baby" but as our precious #3 and on top of that...our 3rd beautiful daughter.
So she needs a room that can help her grow into this special role.

I already have the furniture.
 Crib-glider-dresser. All can be painted...changed etc.
The walls are called Dolphin Fin.
and it must a some touch of Disney..since she is a product of fairy dust and the happiest place on Earth. ;)

So-with that said, I am enlisting you..."the virtual family members" to help us out! Here is my Nursery Pinterest Board...please "Like" your favorites and suggest others for us!
#21 weeks and counting!!

Monday, October 15, 2012

growing baby! 16 weeks :)

 Growing Baby! We had our 16 week appointment. After waiting 2 hours-I got to see the doctor. They found the heartbeat with the Doppler (so no sonogram) then we had the "latest problem" talk.

I have had tachycardia since I was 18 and I took medicine for it and it was all good :) well the past few years I haven't really needed it until now. The irregular rhythms are back and so is the medicine. 

Also, I have had really-REALLY bad headaches the past few weeks. Its not caffeine related-blood pressure related-or anemia related. So I now have medicine for that. 

No contractions :) 

and my Blood pressure was 110/78 :) 

How far along? 16 weeks!
Total weight gain: 10 lbs
Maternity clothes? some. trying not to rock the "tent" look-so I'm using a lot of pre-maternity stuff in new ways :) 
Stretch marks? Not any new ones. I believe Madyson gave them all to me first go around.

Best moment this week:  Hearing the heartbeat on the Doppler! and getting little flutters :)

Miss Anything? not at all!
Food cravings: Popeye's Shrimp Po boys, Mexican food, soup

Anything making you queasy or sick:blah.. smells. 
Gender: we had a sneak peek at a sono boutique and they said Girl :) 
Labor Signs: Nope

Symptoms: Just plain sleepy 
Wedding rings on or off? wedding band on-engagement ring off
Happy or Moody most of the time:Happy :)

Sunday, October 14, 2012

The "Joy" of being public.

When I began to blog it was my place to tell my story. My journal that was open-page by page-for anyone and everyone to read. They are my words and they are written-so my thought was-if you tried to twist them...I could back it up with print.

Its been over 5 years since I began (the first one is now private and The Broadus Bunch is the main blog) and I still continue to blog for documentation of my life-the good and the bad.

Todd and I joke that before I die-I will probably blog about it first. Gotta keep everyone in the know, ya know?

But in all seriousness-being OPEN for readers is extremely difficult. I have readers who read my blog to find encouragement and to invest in a family that they would probably be friends with in real life.

I have readers who come to graze. Not daily readers-even weekly readers but readers that come to catch up on all things Broadus.

Then, I have readers that come to gather "information" and call other people and say "oh I just read on sarah's blog that...____________" fill in the blank.

In the bible it says "Whenever they come to see me, they speak falsely, while their hearts gather slander; then they go out and spread it abroad. (NIV)" Psalms 41:6

I will  be the first to say my life is very full. I am blessed beyond belief. and I have been since day one.

To recap-

I was born to two young people who loved me enough to give me a better life through adoption.
I was adopted into a family that encouraged my spirit-and taught me about the Holy Spirit.
I had some rough patches-but I believe God gave me those to learn from.
I have a marriage that I could never have dreamed of. It hasn't always been perfect-but its almost close.
I have been blessed with amazing kids. Literally-they blow my mind.
As an adult-I have the amazing privilege to have relationships with my biological family & siblings while continuing to be a member of the family that I was raised by. Best of both worlds.
We (the broadus') have never gone "without". We've come close sometimes but never have not had the needs.
I have always been blessed with jobs that allow me creativity.

In all-I would say that God has given me so much more than I deserve. When I look at others (families, friends) I can see their blessings. Some which are awesome (and on occasion...even makes me a bit jealous) But I can always step out and see the big picture and somehow find happiness for them that takes away the jealousy.

This past weekend, I experienced some "Joys" of being public. Slander-gossip-twisted words. It was extremely hurtful-and almost made me want to private this blog. But after some thought-I decided that this place-my little place in the blog community is my space-Mine. and I am not going to let others dictate my words for me.
So I am pulling a new motto from Proverbs 20:19:

A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid anyone who talks too much.

I am making it a point to avoid anyone who talks to much. Not because I dislike them-or don't consider them family or friends-but because I am not going to be fuel for their gossip fire.

I am not going to private my blog from those who gather here for encouragement or silly stories-I am going to continue to post-my life in my way.

If babblers choose to read-may they see a family that loves the Lord and refuses to allow our story to be the root of their evil.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Exciting News!

My husband is great! Like...really great. He knows how much I **need** to see this baby, alot. After a miscarriage you are just so much more at ease when you can see the baby!

So he scheduled an appointment at a sonogram boutique about an hour from where we live!

And while we were there we found out that baby #3 is ........

Another GIRL!!!!

We are so excited! I had the feeling about a week ago that she was a she and sure enough....I was right!

Todd is thrilled also. He loves his girls so this is just another cupcake to love on!

Her Name is....

Amelia Margaret

and we can't WAIT to meet her in March!!

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Weekends :)

The past few weekends have been busy busy! in sept.15 weekend my friend rachel came to Jackson to do a Vault denim party at my house! It is so fun to finally meet a friend that you've "known" for so many years through blogging!
We had a great time hanging out and making booties cute :) but we both are terrible bloggers and forgot to take a picture....too much talking! :)

Then that sunday we went to church then Madyson had girl scouts. Her little troop is expanding and we are looking forward to another big cookie year :)

The week of the 17-23 was the last week of my 1st trimester! I went to the doctor and we got to see our sweet active baby!!

On Friday the 21,our dear friends the Byrds came over for dinner. They made me turnip soup (baby is obsessed with soup) & we hung out til we were too tired to move!

On saturday Madyson and Todd headed east to alabama to partake in some football and bbq! They had a great time! Aubrie Kate and I did some bonding as well! We stopped by and picked up a frosty's rootbeer from the little mom&pop shop, put the #1 hits of the 60's cd in, and headed to the flea market. We spent hours looking and shopping. She has a great eye for midcentury modern pieces. After the flea market we grabbed some Krystal's burgers and headed home. There we played, did a makeover and took a 4 hour nap :) it was glorious!!!

Sunday following we went to church and then came home and switched the closets over to fall clothes :)

Happy! Happy! Happy!

That Monday was the offical first day of the 2nd trimester!

{{I am so excited to be getting close to my "release" date. If I make it to 16 weeks without any complications then I am no longer on highrisk watch and get to relax a little!}}

The next weekend todd,aubrie kate and I went on a date to the mexican restaurant then did some window shopping for baby stuff :) Saturday we spent the day sitting with Todds mom. We were at her house for 12hours so that was our entire day. On Sunday, we went to church then my mom treated us to lunch and a movie! We saw Hotel Transylvania and it was really cute!

This past friday-we took the girls to buy new athletic shoes. This was both of theirs first pair :/ (I know...we are such "consignment shoppers" neither of my children have had new tennis shoes, until now.  Then we went out for dinner and came home to relax!

Saturday we got the nursery painted then went to the Ole Brook Festival about an hour away! We were so excited because Francesa Battistelli, Sidewalk Prophets, and Andy Cherry were performing and it was a FREE concert! So we took the girls and they loved it! (despite it being 50 degrees)

Today-We went to church-then Todd and the girls went to sit with his mom. I stayed home to catch up on laundry and to go to the grocery store.

WHEW! there ya go! Caught up on our weekends! Coming up...

Bob: my biological dad is coming to visit next weekend
Madyson and Todd are doing the Making Strides walk on the 27th
also on the 27th is a tailgating bbq for our community young adult club :)


Monday, October 1, 2012

Save The Grandmommas

Madyson is walking in the Breast Cancer Walk in October in honor of Todd's Mom who has been fighting cancer for over 8 years! This is her way of "saving the grandmommas" of other kids who's grandmommas are Cancer Fighters!

Help her meet her fundraising goal!

Thanks so much!

so you think you can dance?

Todd took the girls to hang out with some friends of ours (the daddy's with daughters club) this weekend. Here is a video one of the dads sent me of Aubrie Kate :) Sista's got the moves :)