Saturday, June 22, 2013


It's been almost 8 months since Todd's mom passed away. The longest, most painful months in my life.

Back in October, Halloween to be exact I sat and watched her go to be with Jesus. I knew it was going to be hard for  Madyson and on Aubrie Kate and on Todd because they were all really close. 

Kathy and I were close but I had accepted months ago this was going to happen so I had begun the grief process before she was actually gone. 

In Nov was Todd's birthday and thanksgiving-we made it through. In December Christmas and her birthday..again we survived. In January we declared 2013 had to be February things weren' march we welcomed Amelia and celebrated aubries bday..2 things that Todd wanted his mom here April, life got harder. In may...mothers day. Which was awful.

Y'all, it is hard to be the spouse of someone who is grieving so hard. And to be the mother of two big kids who daily "miss their grand momma" and to be the momma of a baby who requires a lot. Thankfully we have a great life group and the guys have been there for Todd but he still hurts so much. It's a constant battle at night for him to be able to relax and to sleep. He still calls her voicemail just to listen to her voice. And I sit and pray. Because on those bad days-there isn't anything else I can do.

Madyson and aubrie have done children's counseling but still ache to spend the night with grand momma and make cookies and play in their card table forts. 

And well...I can't fix any of their pain and its hard. 

Christ promises us he is always there for us. He is our greatest comfort and for the past 8 months he has been mine. It's a very isolating feeling when you are going on with life with the attitude of she is no longer suffering but is with Him and what an awesome thing that is. And the rest of the family is just sad...a lot. 
I am sharing this rawness of life to document the struggle we face daily. I know in His time I will look back and see the many ways God has worked and how it is better. I have seen His work play out with job issues, the 4 year wait for a baby, and the evolution of my relationship with him.  I know He uses situations like this to call us closer to Him and to allow Him to orchestrate His great plan. 

One day we will see that plan and we will understand the whys of things-until that day-I will continue to pray.

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Vacation Bible School.

Have you missed me? Well-this past week was Vacation Bible School it was a 5 day 4-5 hours a day jam packed week!

I worked with one of our 3 kindergarten classes (i had 31 on roll!!) and I was blessed with a great group of kids!

The most exciting news for the week is that my niece accepted Christ as her savior! This was the greatest joy for me! I loved getting a text from Todd (who was also a leader on Thursday/Friday) that she had made this decision!

If you follow me on IG you saw this amazing picture of the kids before the performance on Friday-

Yea...that's 3-6th grade!

God really worked this past week and I am SO thankful to have been a small part of it!

Saturday, June 8, 2013

A moment.

(Today has been one of those days. You know the day. The ones that don't make for Mother of the year speeches. The ones that older ladies tell you "to treasure". The kind of day where you send your husband a text like this....

Yup. Welcome to my day.
Today I had one goal-get the house ready for our tball party tomorrow. As of 10pm (right now) I am hiding in an undisclosed location eating chocolate chip cookies out of a box praying that a fairy comes and does it for me...or at least the kids are asleep by the time I decide to come out. 
Lets look at the day in pics...shall we? 
Amelia decided she was hot last night and somehow took off her gown-had it around her head and her diaper off. (9am)

Work hard cleaning house with 3 kids by 4 pm-I was defeated. The house looked worse than it did at 9am-so we went downtown for coffee, honey at the market, and some playtime.
5pm-8pm Mia screams due to gas/teething/anger so I try everything to console her. Taking a ride on the washing machine gave me 30 minutes of peace.
During this 3 hour frame-madyson is in dire need of attention and I can tell this by her hanging on me and being totally oblivious to the fact I am loosing my mind with a screaming baby-a messy house-and a five year old who is melting down because I may or may not have feed her lunch and neither of us can remember and she is starving. 

In the attempt to provide food fast I turn to a thrown together pizza and cucumber and tomato salad. 
All while child #3 is still riding the washing machine...
(Don't worry mom I had Madyson there making sure she didn't roll off for the 3 minutes it took me to plate the food)

Once the big kids were fed and the babe was done using the laundry room as her personal amusement park. I turned on some Tomlin...because Chris brings the spirit and
So yea-it's been one of those days. Here's to the season of insanity. Cheers :)

Monday, June 3, 2013

What I am loving 3 months

Amelia is 3 months old today!!! My how it is flying by!

She is 13lbs and 22 inches long! She is wearing 3-6 & 6 month clothes-size 1 diaper.

We are still loving all of our previous items

and this month we added: 
A Bumbo
and a play mat!
Amelia is doing so well developmentally! She has rolled over a few times. She has excellent head control and she is very alert now!

Her schedule fluctuates daily (since sisters are home and we have to "enjoy" summer) but typically it is
6:30 wake up/diaper change/nurse
7:00 back to sleep til 9
9:00 diaper change/nurse
10-2 out and about-usually a bottle in this frame (4oz)
2:00 nurse/nap/diaper change
5:00 wake up/nurse/diaper change
8:00 nurse/diaper change
11:00 nurse/diaper change/bed

She enjoys her bed and likes to have a blanket in one arm and her "wubby" in another. 

The other night on instagram I played around with picstitch of all the girls at 3 months-who do you think she looks like?
*left to right* Madyson, Aubrie, Amelia