Sunday, February 3, 2013

I have earned my meanest mom badge.

Over the past few weeks, I have noticed a huge change in my girls. Manners such as "yes mam, no sir.." have been replaced with "yea and what".

Toys that have been organized for them (1 box of lalaloopsy, 1 box of strawberry shortcake..etc) have been dumped out, mixed together, and the boxes used to hold dirty clothes, candy wrappers, etc.

Vanity areas that allow for BIG GIRL dress up-pretend-fun girly time have become lipstick kisses on my walls-finger nail polish on the furniture, etc.

I have had enough.



The final straw was when I spent 2 weeks deep cleaning the girls rooms (with their input on how they liked it to be organized...I mean we are all different) I scrubbed carpet, I washed all the clothes in their closets, dried, ironed and rehung them so they would be fresh. Installed shoe holders, etc.

and I explained if they could keep it like this for 1 week-they could get the bikes they have been wanting for almost a year. 1 week-that is NOT that hard.

This morning-we were getting ready for church and Madyson couldn't find her other silver shoe. Aubrie's closet was on her floor. All the undergarments I had just washed and put up were mixed into the huge dress up boxes. We were late. And I was angry.

I was angry not at my kids-but at myself. I have allowed them to become disrespectful of their personal property, their parents/grown ups, and themselves.

I would love to blame it on the pregnancy exhaustion but the truth is-I can't.

So-I decided that we would spend February learning about Respect. Respect for our things, respect for others, respect for ourselves. So I had the girls pick out 5 toys that they really loved and wanted to keep out-then I packed up all the girls toys (minus the few in the playroom) and Todd loaded them by the garage door. 

Then we had the talk about how toys cost money. Money that people that love them have spent on them and when they don't take care of them-it shows people that they are not appreciative of the gifts. So 1 by 1-the girls took the boxes of toys out to the garage.

They had 30 minutes, 1 garbage bag, and 1 laundry basket to pick up their rooms. Whatever was left over after 30 minutes went into a garbage bag and to the street.

My plan* at the moment is this:

1) they have a simple chore chart: at the end of the week if they have completed all the chores-they can earn a toy out of the garage.

2) Manners are extremely important to me. I can not stand when kids do not have them. When they complete this task successfully they can earn a toy out of the garage.

3) They are responsible-together-for the playroom. Its not much in there but its BOTH of their responsibility. They keep it picked up and organized-for the month-they can recover a toy out of the garage.

At the end of the month-whatever is left in the garage goes to the community center. No questions asked.

It is my job as a parent to prepare my girls for life. I don't expect their rooms to be perfect-just taken care of. I do expect them to respect the things they have, the people that love them, and the blessings they have been given.

So if being the meanest mom for a while means teaching my kids about respect the hard way-then so be it. Life is going to get harder as they get older (and throwing in another sister will just make it more interesting)  and I would rather them understand what and how they are expected to act and how they are expected to treat their things/friends/themselves BEFORE its too late.
 

*My plan can and probably will change as I see fit. I reserve that right*


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