I am listening Lord

The past few months have been ridiculously rough.

I left my job at the zoo making good money, to come work for my church. This was a very prayed about decision. Even though I would be loosing money doing it, I would be gaining family time and have the ability to drowned myself in the Lord.
Since then,

My grandmother has been in and out of the hospital, resulting...finally...in placing her in a nursing home.

My dad spent days in the hospital and weeks at home getting over a staph infection.

My aunt was rushed to the hospital by ambulance bc she couldn't breath and almost died.

Her husband's father, did die...a few weeks before.

My husband got the flu and was out of work for a few days.

My cousin (who is like my brother) decided to become a drug addict and start breaking into cars and stealing stuff, then pawning it for drug money. He is now sitting in jail, going on a few weeks...at age 19. Good news, he isn't on drugs right now, other news is he is coming home to Mississippi and I will be taking care of his post jail recovery.

and the latest of the Debbie downer news, Todd has found a lump in his breast (feels weird using breast for a man but I guess that is right?) We went to the doctor today and he doesn't think it is "cancer" or anything "serious" but he followed that up with "but I am not always right...", reassuring. We are now going to see a surgeon to get his opinion and to get it removed!

So Lord, almighty one. I understand that I am suppose to be drowning myself into you, that was our agreement when we discussed this position and I am not...more like wading....So God, I am listening, I am praying, I am devoting all my time to you. I am sorry for disobeying you. I Love you Lord, my ears, my heart, my mind is open. Lets talk.