Giving Thanks in All Circumstances

The past few weeks have been a huge whirlwind of emotions. If you follow me on Twitter you know I have been back and forth to the doctor with good news/bad news.

Well, it started out like this.

To say we were super excited is a huge understatement. We did not believe we were going to be able to have biological children again after the bad pregnancies/deliveries of Madyson and Aubrie Kate.
3 years of no sign of conception, then a huge surprise.

We went to the doctor and had an ultrasound and saw a precious 5week3 day baby sac. I did blood work, and all was wonderful! I had to go back in 48 hours for more test.

48 hours later, more blood work was done and this time, the news wasn't as happy. The numbers went up, but didn't double. I don't know what all that means but I knew it wasn't good.

I began to loose it and called on all my Christian women friends to pray for me. My heart rate wouldn't settle and I was having a very hard time. My precious doctor wanted me to come back the Tuesday of Thanksgiving week. I prayed and prayed. She had told me if there wasn't a heartbeat we would do a DNC. I can not begin to discuss with you my thoughts on medical intervention on life and death. My emotions are to raw right now. But after much prayer, I called and asked if I could have an extra week.

Throughout the time frame, I prayed to the Lord that if this wasn't going to develop into a healthy pregnancy for Him to have it end naturally.

The days went on and my pregnancy symptoms grew. Morning sickness, cravings, tiredness.....all I thought were great signs. Until yesterday.

Yesterday, I started to miscarry. A word that I can not stand to say. I spent the majority of the day asleep on the couch, to keep myself from loosing it. Then last night as I was watching Christmas Movies, the pampers commercial with babies and silent night came on and that was it.

I sprawled out in the bathroom and just lost it. I am not angry, and I have no right to ask why. I praise God for answering my prayer of it happening naturally. I long for a baby, and I know he has his plans for our precious #3. But right now, my emotions are crazy, probably do to the amount of hormones in my system....tomorrow I go to the doctor to confirm that "nature took its course".

To my sweet prayer warriors that have prayed for us through this, thank you so much. You have no clue how much they helped. My nerves were calm for a whole week and I know its from the comfort I felt through prayer.