It is T-U-E-S-D-A-Y!!

It is Tuesday and only 9:49 am!

Todd and I have started working out in the mornings (well, I go to the tanning bed and run on the treadmill while he works out) but it is something we are doing together...without the kids.

You never really get how fast your life is passing you by until you stop. We NEVER stop. Seriously. Never. Aubrie Kate joined our family almost 1 year ago and since then our life has been go-go-go. She was born March 11th, I was back at work April 11th...started a new job April 28th and haven't sat down since.

Now, almost a year has passed and I can't believe how time flies and how much I have missed. I have always wanted to be a Special Events Coordinator, since I was 6. I use to plan birthday parties for my dolls, weddings for barbie and made my friends celebrate everything from my dog's anniversary to my fish's funeral. And I have always loved the Zoo. Some of my fondest childhood memories took place at the Zoo and to be able to work here is such a blessing. But sometimes I feel like I am letting my dreams get in the way of my family. The only time Todd and I spend together is in the early morning hours before the sun is up. Then it is a rush to get the girls up and dressed and off to school and both of us off to work.....once I get the girls in the evening it is get the dinner fixed, them fed, in the bath and in the bed! By the time that is done Todd is asleep and laundry or some chore is waiting. Then sleep...then start it all over again.

I use to look forward to weekends but now days those are also occupied by my job. I love being able to bring in money each week for the Zoo but I miss being able to sleep late on a Saturday, going to the park with the girls...have a picnic with Todd...maybe even a date. I miss not having plans....alot. My plans are so extensive I know what I am going to be doing for the next 8 months. Literally.

Sundays are my family days but those too are a rush! Church, then lunch, the naps, then playing, then dinner, then bed then back to work.

I miss me, I miss my family, I miss having a life. Is it worth following my dreams when I am missing out on so much? Or is it selfish of me to want to follow my dreams? This is something I am struggling with daily and I am in prayer with the Lord. Hopefully he will help me see what is right for me and best for the family.

My prayer today is "Lord, please help guide me through and help me understand where I need to be. Help me see the plan you have for me"