The Highlight Reel

Today is my due date. The date that I have been dreading for 7 months now. This morning I woke up to an email from a private adoption friend saying the June baby we were *praying* for-has been born prematuraly and that the mom isn't looking into adoption anymore. Another let down in this rollercoaster of adoption pain.

I know that God has a plan for our family and for each of his children. My heart aches as we move on with the persuit of another child. Our #3 will be here one day. Today-just isn't it.

With that said, Yesterday on Twitter, Kelly tweeted about how she feels like every mother is at home sewing, baking, in their perfectly clean houses. And I thought to myself-thanks to social media (blogs-pinterest) we are all basing thoughts on the highlight reels of others.

Tuesday-we took the kids on a daytrip, Tuesday Night we did laundry. Wednesday we worked on closets and stuff all day (getting ready for Disney) so our house was neglected. When kelly posted her tweet, I snapped a photo of our laundry room (right then) and sent it to her. I wanted her to see the unperfect lifestyle that we were having so she would see that no-not every house is perfect or clean all the time.

As mothers-we put so much pressure on ourselves to make sure we do all the motherly duties plus wifely duties-plus extra duties. That we build up this idea of perfect life in our mind and when we don't meet it we allow ourselves to get down. When in fact-everyone has a laundry room that looks like this at somepoint in life.

This week is a hard week for me. I knew the due date would put a big damper in my mood. It is so hard to think I could be having a baby right now-and be joyful that I am lying on my couch with my 2 girls. I have a room full of baby clothes and a crib that is ready for a baby that is lying in a hospital in the NICU with a young mother that wasn't sure 6 months ago if she even wanted to be a mother and now-has a huge responsibility on her hands.

I have to take these "messy" issues and expose them for the simple fact-someone out in our world is going through this same thing-and I don't want you to see my highlight reel-I want you to see the real me.

Today-I am choosing to be happy and thankful. Ever so often, my heart begins to sink and my mind wonders off on the what could be. Then I pull it back to reality and say Thank You God for these blessings you have given me.

Tomorrow-I will be back with details on our day trip tuesday and some other things we have done this summer. 8 more days til Disney-