Enough.

I am heading into week 3 of stay at home mom life and I am getting more and more questions about "how it is going", so I thought before I bombard you with pics from the weekend, I would share.

For me deciding to quit work without a financial plan on how we would pay our bills, keep our lifestyle... was totally a faith in God moment. I knew in my heart that it was time for me to be a mom. I had missed out on so much of my girls lives because of work. I went back to work 2 weeks after Aubrie Kate was born because I was "needed". I continued to work 40+ hours a week because it was my "job". When I was at the church I was given the first bit of comfort in knowing "its okay to be a mom". Man, that was a huge blessing. When I left the church to go work for the social media company I knew that God wanted me back in the "real world". I was going to be a rockstar and do my thing. But then 2 months into it I came to the realization that it wasn't enough for me to be a rockstar for my friends, or to do my job because in reality I wasn't doing my job.

I saw this story....

"Recently I overheard a father and daughter in their last moments together at the airport. The Gate had announced the plane was ready for boarding
Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the father said, 'I love you, and I wish you enough.'
The daughter replied, 'Dad, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Dad.'
They kissed and the daughter left. The Father walked over to the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see he wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, 'Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?'
"Yes, I have,' I replied. 'Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?'..
"I am old, and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is - the next trip back will be for my funeral,' he said.'When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, 'I wish you enough..' May I ask what that means?'
He began to smile. 'That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone...' He paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail, and he smiled even more. 'When we said, 'I wish you enough,' we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them.' Then turning toward me, he shared the following as if he were reciting it from memory. I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting. I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger. I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.
He then began to cry and walked away.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them; but then an entire life to forget them.
TAKE TIME TO LIVE...."

and thought to myself. I need to live. I need to do my JOB. I am needed not in the work place, they are their own rockstars. I am I needed as a mom. Maybe God's plan for me was to show me, that I didn't need that confirmation of being a working mom anymore. Maybe his plan was to break me of the pride that I felt being able to juggle it all. Who knows what it is. All I know is that I never felt more needed by my children during those 2 months.

Before we decided to take the leap of faith and for me to stay home. Todd and I sat down and talked to the girls. We explained how life would change. Chick-fil-a would no longer be a daily thing, Chuck-e-Cheese would have to see us for birthday parties only, can't run to the store to pick up that new toy or other none necessary item. It was going to be the basics and mommy. (my paycheck was our "play money") We asked them if they were okay with this and they both agreed.

3 weeks into this experiment and they have only asked for chick-fil-a once. They are enjoying our days of playing and exploring and tell me on more than one occasions how happy they are that I am home.

Each day that passes by and every milestone that we hit, I see my girls growing more rapidly. No longer are they babies, toddlers or preschoolers they are kids now. And they are at the point in their life that they are capable of making decisions on how to act in public or how to treat other people. Where do I want them learning these skills from? Me (and Todd). My desire for my girls is to have a relationship with me that is open, loving, and secure. Where I would be better than a gift certificate and they knew confidently that I had the time for them.

I have been that working mom for six years. I know the rewards it reaps but I am learning the rewards it brings to be a mom full time. I always thought to myself, we would NEVER be able to afford me to quit work and to be honest, its can get a bit stressful. But we are being very diligent with our finances, not buying things we don't need, staying away from sonic and chick-fil-a, not eating out as much and just spending more time at home as a family.

I have never been as happy as I am now. I am calm, I am productive, and I am at peace.

“… seek peace and pursue it.”Psalm 34:14 (NIV)