The Scale.

{{ramblings from my thoughts}}

Right now, I am sitting on my couch surrounded by piles and piles of clean clothes that are folded. I am trying a new method and giving everyone their own laundry basket to put up. Hopefully, it will help curb the torture of me doing them all.

On the other side of the couch-is little "Sissy Foot" snuggled on her blanket, sound asleep. She has been having a rough day. Her eye duct is clogged and her belly is full and boy, is she gassy! I forgot how much little babies poot and how BIG those poots sound.

Today, has been a day. This whole week has been a week. Todd and I are sitting on a scale-both on separate sides-and we just can't balance. This is probably the 3rd or 4th time in 8 years this has happened. Neither of us like it-but we work through it because we are legally bound to each other-and well...because we love each other too much to let a little imbalance ruin us.

My heart has been heavy over the past few weeks for numerous things. A sweet baby born the day before Amelia passed away and her funeral service was today. I have spent the last few weeks praying for her parents. They have an amazing testimony building up right now-follow them here.

The whole marriage debate is saddening my heart as well. I have friends on both sides of the debate and I hate to see either of them hurt because of this. But America has become like Todd and I-off balance. The country can not get on the same page about anything anymore. Our melting pot is bubbling over with so many opinions that we can't level out and find an agreement. I wish Americans loved each other enough to not let an imbalance ruin us.

I have been debating my future. I have always had a plan. And right now-I don't have a clear idea of what the next few weeks/months are going to look like for my life. And it is extremely uncomfortable. I have been praying for God to give me some direction. But nothing yet. Join me in his prayer please.

This weekend is Easter and for the first time in years-I actually remembered and have somewhat of a plan.

We of course will do "Spring Saturday" again. I love Easter Baskets and love Easter goodies. But that is our spring celebration.

 Todd and I don't have new Easter outfits. I will pull something out of the closet that fits-Todd will more than likely recycle his seersucker pants and bow tie. The girls outfits don't match but they love them and that's all that matters-we are celebrating eternal life. Not materialism on Sunday.

Sunday, we will celebrate the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. The idea that God loved us so much that he gave His son for our sins, overwhelms me. I have been reading about sins a lot these past few days. What did God give His son for? Sin is sin and all sins are equal. So my sins may be, in your eyes, 50x worse than your sins. But in God's eyes-they are sins.

In the book of John, Jesus faced a mob that was eager to execute a woman caught in adultery. He put a stop to it with a simple challenge: anyone who has no sin in their life should step forward and throw the first stone. 

The men in the mob, dropped their stones. They were not perfect. They could not cast a stone. When I read this story, I think back to the scale. At that moment, that the men dropped their stones, the scale evened out. The adulteress and the mob, equal sinners. 

As the weekend approaches, I pray that each of us take time to remember what we are celebrating and why we are celebrating it. We are not celebrating because we are perfect, in our perfectly ironed outfits, with our perfect white shoes, and our perfectly Pinterest-inspired Easter desserts. We are celebrating because we are dirty sinners who had actual blood shed for us. We are celebrating because our scale will level out this weekend-your sin is the same as my sin and our Father loves us enough to forgive us of those sins. 





 

Help?

I am an extremely "IN CHARGE" type person. I like things done my way and very seldom do I give in and ask for help.

This became apparent when I was in college and in charge of our tribe's Homecoming Float-and has continued throughout my event planning career. Now as a "Full-Time Mom" it is still into play. Help? what is that?

I've got this.

Until....I am broken. Todd only got to spend 1 day with us at the hospital. Then it was back to work. So all of a sudden I was 1) recovering from major surgery 2)a mother of a newborn, a home schooled 5 year old and an active 7 year old. I could not drive, I was encouraged to "stay down and rest" as much as possible.

Todd called his Step-mom who lives in Atlanta and she meet us at our house when we got home from the hospital and stayed the remaining of the first week. She cleaned, she toted the kids around, she shopped for us. She allowed me to get adjusted.

Then our friends stepped in-they brought meals every other night for us-so I didn't have to cook. They took Aubrie Kate during the day so I could rest...

My mom works and lives 40 minutes away-but she has had the girls spend the night, taken them to do things, driven me places, etc.

Help-it is friends and family loving on you and lifting you up. It is not a sign of weakness and it doesn't make you less of a mother. It is what we are called to do as Christians-Help each other, LOVE each other.

Todd and I are very thankful for all the love and help we have received over the past few weeks!

Life with 3 kids, a little bit about Amelia and post c-section recovery.

It's been 2 weeks since little miss Amelia joined our family. I thought (for my memory) I would share how life with 3 kids girls is going-and how my C-section recovery is going!

First-the first week home was-A Lot. Amelia came on 3/3-we had planned Aubrie's birthday party for 3/7 (actual birthday 3/11)

So we got home on 3/5-Todd and the girls had their first tball practice that night. Aubrie's party was 3/7-we had family here-everyone celebrating "The A's) which left Miss Madyson-feeling very left out.

at aubrie's skating party-no I did  not skate.:)

By 3/9-She was falling apart. We both sat in the kitchen crying-5 minutes later-she was better-it took some reassurance to let her know Mommy and Daddy haven't forgotten her-It was just a big week.

Other than that-we haven't had any jealousy issues or other problems. The girls had spring break this week-and I was home all week by myself with all 3 of them. We survived. Not being able to drive wasn't fun-but we made the best of it. Aubrie Kate shared her birthday presents and we made jewelry, colored, did crafts and all sorts of creative things!

Amelia is an excellent baby. I am sure as she "wakes up" it will be more difficult. But right now she has herself on a schedule. She sleeps majority of the day-eats every 3 hours-sleeps a 5 hour stretch each night.

She only fusses when you are changing her clothes/diaper. SHE LOVES being bathed. Totally doesn't surprise me. She always stretched out in womb when I took a bath.

We have a "blooming Bath" and I love it. I know she doesn't looked thrilled in the picture but I was trying to get one without my hands in the picture-but she kept falling asleep-so this is the best I could do this time. I promise Ill get a good one when I have some extra hands.

She is still in preemie clothes-but is slowly moving up to newborn. She is very snuggley and loves to be held.

She loves her Honest Company Diapers. And I received many compliments on them in the hospital. When she thickens up we will switch to cloth diapers and use the Honest diapers when we are out and about.

Aubrie Kate and Madyson both love holding her and picking out her clothes. Aubrie will make sure you wash your hands BEFORE you touch her. She is the GermPolice.

This is my 3rd C-section and the recovery has been great. I was up 12 hours after surgery-showered the next day-pain has been ZERO (praise the Lord). I did have a little set back this weekend. Friday I decided to do the housework and did too much. I have been ordered to bed for the rest of the weekend to relax and they said that should fix the problem.

celebrating St. Patrick's day! Amelia got to come out of her sling for the picture :)

This week we have our 2 week old check up AND AK's 5 year old check up and shots =( So that should be....interesting.

I am loving having 3 girls. I find myself praising God and crying 75% of the time I look at Amelia.  It was really hard the last 4 years wanting a baby and giving it all to Him to handle. I thought His timing was wrong-and that it wasn't fast enough. But God knows. I tweeted this the other day-and want to share again: If you desire to be a mother-keep praying. God hears your prayers and His timing is best!

Amelia Margaret: A Birth Story

Saturday night, March 2 we had dinner at our favorite restaurant with Todd"s Stepdad and Godmother. We arrived at home around 9pm. The girls got a bath and then went to bed.

It was around 11pm when I told Todd that I just did not feel well. I was having contractions-but they didn't hurt-so I figured they were Braxton Hicks. I have said all along-that Amelia was going to be my labor baby and come when she was ready (she has had a very fiery spirit since day 1)

Around 1 we downloaded a contraction timing app and started timing them. At first they were irregular 8-10 minutes lasting about 30 seconds each. Finally, around 2am they were 6 minutes apart and 59seconds to 1 minute apart. I got up to use the bathroom and as I walked back to the bed a constant trickle was running down my leg. I told Todd I wasn't sure, but I think my water was breaking...slowly. (because the big gush would have just been too made for tv movieish)

At 3am-with contractions now 5minutes apart lasting over a minute and very strong-I decided to call my mom (who was 40 minutes away) and ask her to come over so we could go to the hospital and get checked out. I wasn't in pain, but it was very uncomfortable and I just did not feel good.

She arrived 30 minutes later (Lord knows how fast she was driving) and we headed to the hospital. Our drive is usually 20 minutes but in Broadus drama fashion-we had to run into a police chase-a wreck-and make every red light.

By the time we checked in at 4:45am, I was uncomfortable-yet still...no pain. The nurse did all the paper work, asked a gizillion questions, and finally around 6:15 checked me...1 cm. Really? (I was for sure thinking at this point, we were going to be 9 and I was going to have a natural delivery) They did start an IV (a whole other blog post about how it took 4 tries and a lot of digging to finally get that) of fluid-just in case. Then they left us to rest-around 9:45 the on call doctor (whom I had never met and was not in my doctor's practice) came in and gave the long speech about how if I haven't progressed anymore then they would send me home and go from there.

I assured her I was okay with that-but I needed to know why I didn't feel good-I needed Amelia to be checked out-just in case.

She checked me and sure enough-progression. She said, well okay-we are having a baby today. The nurses cheered, Todd cheered. And at this point-My mind goes into a blur.

From 10:00 am-10:20am there were a lot of people in and out of the room. At one point I noticed a familiar face-Cathy-my nurse from my horrible labor/delivery of Madyson walked in. We bonded that day-almost 7 years ago. And I was relieved to see her. Todd got suited up for surgery-They hooked all sorts of things up to me. I remember the anesthesiologist (whom I fell in love with according to all) coming in and getting the run down of my history. Then at 10:30 they wheeled me back to the operating room.

This is usually the scariest time for me. 1) I am alone because Todd isn't allowed back there until I am ready to be opened. 2)everyone has one mask and I can't see who is who. 3) it is cold.

But this time, it was like a slow motion movie. I took in account the scrub techs 1 looked like Ma from golden girls. The other had on colored eyeshadow and deep brown eyes. Cathy was there, along with my other nurse (still don't know her name) and the anesthesiologist. I do not remember the spinal block at all. I was too busy focusing on the scrub techs and nurses counting all the supplies. I don't remember getting moved from bed to bed. But I do remember my legs going numb. Crazy feeling.

I remember asking for Todd to get here. and Cathy getting on the phone, calling the room and him coming in. The doctor that I had never met and who looked like Barbie came in. And all I could think about is how Dr. Barbie was delivering my baby and how much I loved the anesthesiologist. Todd came in and sat beside me. He was talking and rubbing my head and I couldn't talk. My oxygen mask was muffling the sounds of my voice and he kept saying "HUH?" So finally I told him to hush. The anesthesiologist stayed in my face the whole time. He was updating me on what was going on and I was telling him how much I could feel. In the past the whole stretching of skin and such isn't painful-this time it was very uncomfortable.

He dropped the curtain and there in my face was this TINY little baby. The doctor said, "how big did you think she was going to be?" I remember clearly saying 6lbs.

Then I laid down and it felt like I was having a heart attack. The pressure on my sternum was crazy. I told the anesthesiologist this and he adjust medicines and it felt better. I don't remember seeing Amelia again. I don't remember Todd taking her out. I don't remember leaving surgery.

My next memory I was being wheeled back into my room and people were in there. The only people I remember seeing is 1) Todd. 2) a very concerned nurse and 3) Aubrie Kate. She was explaining how nasty Amelia's belly button was.

I remember wanting  to hold her so bad. The nurse and Todd were talking and he was taking pictures.

I don't remember how I got to hold her-but I remember it was only for a few minutes. A practitioner had come and determined Amelia needed the NICU because of her breathing.

this was my baby-she was fine. She was little but so was I. She needed mommy-not the NICU, I kept telling them.

I remember them taking her away and that was it. Apparently, I sat and had conversations with family members. I had a bad case of the shakes and my eyelids and chin itched like hell.

Over the next few hours-I remember nothing.

It wasn't until around 7pm when I came too. I was in a different room. Todd was there and my nurse was the lovely April who had taken care of me after my surgery with Aubrie Kate. I don't remember many conversations we had. I am sure Todd explained everything to me. He had even been down to take pictures for me.

Not exactly the first images you want to see of the child you have prayed and waited on for over 4 years.

I needed to see my baby.. I asked April what I could do to get down there. And she said 12 hours after surgery I could get up-that would be 10:50. So at 10:30pm she came in and took out my catheter and my IV line and all the other contraptions I was hooked up on and I got out of the bed and walked down to the wheelchair. She took me down tot he NICU and we scrubbed in. Amelia was in this tiny, little, dark room (#15) by herself. She was in the incubator all hooked up with numbers flashing and beeps and cords everywhere. I stood up and just cried. I could stick my hands into the little holes but that was it. She was just laying there-working hard to breath. And I was on the outside-with no way to help her. THE. WORST. FEELING.

I prayed and cried and prayed and cried and really prayed. About an hour and a half after standing over her bed-her NICU nurse, Becca walked in and said she had talked to the dr. and we could try taking her off the machines so I could hold her.

Becca unhooked everything and swaddled her up. She pulled in a chair for me and I sat there for 2 hours holding my sweet baby. As as talked and prayed her little self calmed down. Her numbers were right where they were suppose to be and she was showing major signs of improvement. I left the NICU around 2:45am. When I got back to the room I had to pump to get food down to little miss-who was still not back on her machines! (she had a feeding line in and being so small-I didn't want to attempt breastfeeding and making her have to work hard) After dinner was "served" I attempted to go to sleep with every staff member coming in and out, checking vitals, blood work,e tc.

Around 7am-Todd got up and went down to see her. She was doing amazing and would be up to our room once the doctor made rounds.

I had breakfast (BLAH) and then walked down to the NICU to see her and meet MS. Jo, her daytime nurse. She needed to eat-so I fed her and held her til the doctor came in. He released her and I rushed back to the shower!

Amelia was "checken In" to the well-baby nursery. Then she was brought straight to me.

We left room 3305 on Tuesday at 1pm. Just a little over 48 hours after labor, surgery, NICU and all that jazz.

It's been a week today-that we have been home with Miss Mia (still working on what we are going to call her) and it has been heavenly.

I have healed wonderfully. I have til Sunday then I can drive and take a bath again. Then 4 more weeks til a normal routine.

We have had to go back to the hospital 3x for weight checks. I can say she is on the up and up and getting every oz back she had lost after birth.

We are so excited and so blessed that God has given us our sweet baby #3. Thank you all so much for praying with us over the past few years for her. We never imagined it would have happened this way but we are grateful that it has.

Amelia Margaret Broadus

aka Baby #3

Born 3/3/13

5lbs 13oz

19 3/4 inches long

(click her name for video)

Happy Birthday Aubrie Kate!!!

To my precious Aubrie Kate-

Today-you turn 5 years old.

You are officially "a big girl" and you are an amazing one. You are still my spirited diva who loves anything and everything that sparkles. You alone make up 1/2 of my weeks laundry with your fashion designs-and you never leave home without some kind of toy! But baby girl-you are the most grateful child. You always say thank you for everything-i.e. "Thank you for letting me bring home this rock." "Thank you for making me chocolate milk" "Thank you for taking me to Disney last year"

You are loving lalaloopsy dolls, still. Recently they came out with "sister" dolls and you adore the ones you got for your birthday.

You love movies and love to sit and snuggle and watch them.

Your favorite colors are Gold, Silver, and Pink.

Your favorite food is Princess Soup, Eggs, and Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches (cut into triangles) and you LOVE pickles.

You have a Rapunzel doll you bought at Disney last year "Punzie" and you sleep with her every night (and all 5 of your baby blankets)

You're OCD about washing your hands.. You make everyone who comes in the house wash their hands. We will hear you in the bathroom-just scrubbing away.

You are playing Tball this year (again) on daddy's team! You are very excited but miss dance a lot-So I believe you will be back there next year!

We had your birthday a little early-you wanted a skating party-and since we didn't know if mommy would be in the hospital or not-we obliged.

The card reads "I am WHEELIE glad you came to Skate and Celebrate with me!"

My precious doodle-I am so excited to see where this year takes you! Kindergarten, surprise trips, lots of mommy time over the next few months! i am so blessed to have your sweet spirit in our bunch-

Love you always!