Creeping through

Do you ever feel like you are walking on eggshells? Creeping through your own life?

The past weeks have been very hard. Easter weekend was tough.
We had 2 deaths in the family, grandma lost her marbles, Aubrie got sick, Todd got sick, Todd's mom had to go to the hospital for surgery...and on and on...

Then it is getting into prime event time and every Saturday I am either working on a rental, an event or a birthday party. This past week was a 55 hour week. Monday-Sunday. It KILLED me!!

Monday I took the day to try to catch up on washing and stuff but I was so tired I couldn't function.

I have been praying for God to give me an answer to my problems and I might have a solution. I am asking everyone to pray that my solution works out and that way I can have my family back. I miss my kids so much. Madyson and Aubrie both favor daddy because he is the "fun" parent now because he isn't exhausted and working all the time like me!

Count down to disney is on 67 days....I NEED IT!

It is THURSDAY

Omgoodness it is Thursday all ready!!

Most people will be celebrating today because it will be the start of their weekend...me...not so much. I still have to work tomorrow and Saturday~

BUT I am excited about Easter! There is something about a simple day that has the Lord, ham, and colorful eggs in it that makes me excited!!

Back to my adventure in life...

I have had alot of feedback about my past blogs. People have been overwhelmingly supportive of my conflict between career goals & family goals.

I do want those who have given me their opinion to know that I appreciate it so much and I am still doing some praying and soulsearching but your suggestions and ideas are playing major part in my decision.

Todd hasn't been feeling to well this week :( he hasn't been sleeping good, has a low grade fever and is not as hungry as usually. So we haven't started our Love Dare book yet. I have been trying to let him get back up to par while playing nurse for him.

Well as for the girls....

Madyson is enjoying the Easter season with multiple egg hunts and tons of candy.

Aubrie Kate is getting the hang of it by watching her big sister!

Here are a few pics from last weeks Clinton Easter Egg Hunt

Help me Lord!!

Dear God,

I wake up every morning with a smile on my face, yet by the time I am ready to lie my head back down my stomach is in knots.

My heart aches with pain during stressful times.

My eyes are always filled with tears.

I am only happy when I am with my 3 outward hearts!

Please Lord, Guide Me. Give me strength to be brave. Give me strength to try to understand why I allow myself to put insignificant things in front of significant ones.

"We always have time for things we put first" Lord please help me put you and my family first over others. I say that you all are my most important but I do not show it.

Guide me Lord. Guide me where you need me.

Life is what happens when you are making plans.

For months now I have been tossing and turning on the idea of something in my life isn't right.

I have been getting lost in prayer with the Lord, hoping he would guide me in the "SARAH THIS IS WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO" way. Because when you are as desperate as I am you take everything as a sign.

Over the past few weeks more and more things have started to become clear.

Todd and I watch FIREPROOF the other night (from the Duggar's recommendation) it was great (the female lead actress could have been better but the just of the movie was great)

Todd and I have a great marriage but it brought up points throughout the movie that we were neglecting. So we purchased THE LOVE DARE book and we are going to begin our 40 day journey together.

_marriage....check.

Everyone knows my kids are my life.
I am always talking about them and what they do. But more and more I find my heart longing for them. I miss seeing them hours apon hours. I did the math the other day
there are 168 hours in a week.
40-45 of those are spent at work
40 of those are spent asleep
6 of those are spent traveling to or from work
48 of those are weekend hours (which I don't get all of since I work during the weekends)
that leaves me with about 29 hours a week that I can have my kids to myself.
That is nothing!!

Madyson tells me every morning that she misses me and wants to stay home with me. I use to think it was so she could watch TV. but the more I think about it the more I realize she probably does miss me.

_children....need me more....check.

Work...that is the next big thing on my list.

I love my job!! Anyone who has ever come to visit me at work will tell you how much I love what I do. I love the animals, I love the challenges, I love it all.

I love it so much that I have been working towards additional degrees so I can go work for the Animal Kingdom in Disney!

but work takes me away from my family, work is what gives me the pounding headaches that makes me less of a compassionate mom when I get home, work is where I am on the weekends instead of on the soccer field with Madyson or the park with Aubrie.

Is my love for my job too much?

That is where I am stuck at right now. I am praying that God will say "Sarah, you are where you are suppose to be." or "Sarah, its time to headum up and moveum out."

I don't have any followers yet, but I am sure that somebody gets bored facebook surfing and clicks on my link every now and then....

So if you happen to read this, please pray for me.

I am tired of watching my life pass me by while I am busy making other plans.