✌I never wanted kids. Actually, when I was a server (Todd worked there too) I would make him take my tables if a family with kids sat down because I didn't feel like dealing with the mess and the screams and such.
Fast forward 8 years-and I now am the blessed Stay-at-home mom of 3 amazing and different daughters.
As "Mother's Day" approaches-I can't help but to think about my friends that are longing to be a mom. I never had that desire. If God had not of given us Madyson as soon as he did-who knows what would have happened.
I have several friends that are either in the adoption process waiting on their match or their yes from a birth family-I have several friends that are struggling with infertility and several friends that are celebrating this mother's day as their first with their precious newborns.
I am not here to share the horrors of being a mom-because well-that's not what God intends for Mother's to focus on. He wants us to cherish our babes.
I was young when I had Madyson. 11 months married and turned 22 the day she was born-but you know...Mary was young when she had Jesus. Although I am sure Jesus and Madyson were different styles of infants-it was a scary blessing all rolled into one bundle of baby goodness.
Aubrie Kate entered this world just as fast as her sister. All I knew is by month 36 of marriage I had 2 babies and I been pregnant 1/2 the time.
That's when you sit back and look at God and His plan. And wonder what curve ball he is going to throw at you next.
The time frame is 6 months after Aubrie was born. I was ready for another baby. I had done diapers for 3 years-I was in a routine. I was ready. But God knew I wasn't.
See-what I didn't know is in the next 4 years-we would go through so many trials. God knew that Todd's mom was going to get really sick, God knew that Todd and I would have some marriage bumps that we would need to work through. God knew that I needed to love being a mom and grasp the meaning of it before I had another baby.
For 4 years I prayed and prayed and prayed. Adoption opened up a whole new desire in my heart. The whole process was exhausting but worth every tear. Hearing biological children wouldn't be in the cards-broke me-but I knew God had a plan. Having a miscarriage made me angry, heartbroken and stronger all in one devestating month.
Then one day last summer-my whole world flipped.
Enter Mia Margaret-the baby that I longed for. During her entire pregnancy I really related to Sarah in the bible. She longed for a child for Abraham and was older when she finally became a mom. although I am much younger than she was-I am still older than the times before. This time it's different. Diapers and sleepless nights are blessings not duties. Snuggles and stopping just to hold a baby ranks way over a clean house. it's not that this time it's better-I am just in a place where it's the desires of my heart to be momma-to treasure these baby moments-because I know how fleeting they are.
If there is a "point" or a message to this whole post it's this: If you long to be a mom and feel that it is never going to happen. Have faith-keep praying. Although you're ready-you dont know what God has in store for you. You don't know what trials are coming your way.
If your celebrating your first Mother's Day and your tired from sleepless nights-dread those mounds of diapers a day-frustrated because everyone tells you to enjoy this season-when really you just want to enjoy a nights sleep and a glass of wine. Fear not. It will NOT get easier. Yes they will sleep (eventually) and potty train (hopefully) but then you will have big kids and that's a whole other season....
To my sweet fellow adoption mommas who are waiting on their precious one-they will come. They.will.come. God promises the orphans that they will be cared for (James 1:27) and you will be the one to do it. You are ready but your sweet baby is not. His/her story is already beautifully written and although we don't know it yet-we will. And the whole waiting...the many no's will one day make perfect sense. Just trust my friend-just keep the faith.
Love you all-