there's no sunshine when it rains.

the past 24 hours have been a world wind of emotions and I am blogging this not to complain-but to document our journey.


Yesterday-I received a call from one of the caseworkers at DHS. She said that they were getting ready to match our file (meaning match us to a child) when they realized they didn't have our fingerprints. Perplexed. I told her we had them done already. She asked if we could come in and redo them because apparently they had lost them (they are electronic?) I said sure and set an appointment for 11am today. Todd has to take off work for each appointment we have-then has to drive 30 minutes to meet me at the DHS office.

So this morning I get up, get the kids ready and head out the door. Todd meets us there and He waits in the car with the kids while I go in to do mine first (they don't have enough room for the whole bunch in the tiny office) I go in, go upstairs, and ask to see the caseworker that is doing our prints. She comes out, we go down stairs, down a long hall, to the finger print office. Only to find....the door is locked. The lady who's office is in the finger print office didn't come into work today (and yes, she knew we were coming at 11) and no one else had a key. So as I am filling up with tears, the caseworker says "I don't know why yall have to come back anyway....we have your prints right here" and proceeds to show me the finger prints for attempt 1. ?!?! then she begins "oh yea, your caseworker needs you to fill this out too. She says she doesn't have it." its a living will form, that we turned in MONTHS ago.

So I tell her we've already turned it in. and she says, maybe it got lost. THIS FORM HAS PERSONAL INFORMATION ON IT! SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBERS AND SUCH!! Aggravated, I follow her back up to her office where she just says "I'm sorry"... I begin to cry explaining how I don't understand when everything is in our file why I am even here and not leaving with a child and pretty much begin to have a breakdown.

I just walk out. It was the best thing for the both of us.

Once I got in the car, explained it all to Todd. He leaves to go back to work.

I just begin to pray. This entire journey to our #3 has been emotional and a complete roller coaster. I know God is in control and I am thankful he is. But back and forths, ups and downs are extremely tiring on emotions.

Praying it all gets straightened out soon.

The Highlight Reel

Today is my due date. The date that I have been dreading for 7 months now. This morning I woke up to an email from a private adoption friend saying the June baby we were *praying* for-has been born prematuraly and that the mom isn't looking into adoption anymore. Another let down in this rollercoaster of adoption pain.

I know that God has a plan for our family and for each of his children. My heart aches as we move on with the persuit of another child. Our #3 will be here one day. Today-just isn't it.

With that said, Yesterday on Twitter, Kelly tweeted about how she feels like every mother is at home sewing, baking, in their perfectly clean houses. And I thought to myself-thanks to social media (blogs-pinterest) we are all basing thoughts on the highlight reels of others.

Tuesday-we took the kids on a daytrip, Tuesday Night we did laundry. Wednesday we worked on closets and stuff all day (getting ready for Disney) so our house was neglected. When kelly posted her tweet, I snapped a photo of our laundry room (right then) and sent it to her. I wanted her to see the unperfect lifestyle that we were having so she would see that no-not every house is perfect or clean all the time.

As mothers-we put so much pressure on ourselves to make sure we do all the motherly duties plus wifely duties-plus extra duties. That we build up this idea of perfect life in our mind and when we don't meet it we allow ourselves to get down. When in fact-everyone has a laundry room that looks like this at somepoint in life.

This week is a hard week for me. I knew the due date would put a big damper in my mood. It is so hard to think I could be having a baby right now-and be joyful that I am lying on my couch with my 2 girls. I have a room full of baby clothes and a crib that is ready for a baby that is lying in a hospital in the NICU with a young mother that wasn't sure 6 months ago if she even wanted to be a mother and now-has a huge responsibility on her hands.

I have to take these "messy" issues and expose them for the simple fact-someone out in our world is going through this same thing-and I don't want you to see my highlight reel-I want you to see the real me.

Today-I am choosing to be happy and thankful. Ever so often, my heart begins to sink and my mind wonders off on the what could be. Then I pull it back to reality and say Thank You God for these blessings you have given me.

Tomorrow-I will be back with details on our day trip tuesday and some other things we have done this summer. 8 more days til Disney-

Homestudy.

Our homestudy is DONE! I can't believe I am writing those words.

This has been the step of the process that we have gotten hung up on or at every time. 1x for an issue with the company, 1x our caseworker had to reschedule to go to court....it just seemed like we would never get pass that step.

Well today, we did. She came, she looked at all the rooms, fire extinguisher, fire alarms, cars, car seats...asked us a series of questions, wrote down alot of notes. and then left.

My stomach was churning the whole time. Being evaluated as a parent is a huge deal. Parenting styles, discipline....whew I am just glad to get that over with!!

So whats the next step?

Getting our baby! They will write up the homestudy and make sure all the paper work is in place. Then it will be to figure out who will best fit in our family. Our guidelines are under 3. 1 or 2 kids. My sister and I are a year apart and we were separated when I was born. I know how hard that has been on both of us and I wouldn't want to do that to a sibling set. So we could grow by 1 child or 2!

My gut is a boy...or twins. I don't know why I believe we will get twins but we have always said we wanted them. Either way. It really is ANY DAY NOW!

From there, the baby will be placed in our home and we will have monthly visits to make sure we are all adjusting. After 6 months, we will be legally the child's parents.

Thank you to everyone who tweeted me today. Prayers really do help! Now...we wait!


**I have an open party on my site! May Special is spend $31 and get the All-In-One Organizer for $5!! Its one of my favorites!!**

getting close to the due date...

today's post is a little "calm". There wont be alot of ! in here but to track the healing process of the miscarriage.

According to my lovely babcenter.com updates I would be nearing my 33rd week of pregnancy. I can tell its getting close because the bundle of facebook friends that announced their pregnancy the same time I was having the miscarriage are beginning to have contractions, get uncomfortable, and deliver.

Over the last few weeks, I will be laying down and experience what feels like a kick. I researched and found they are called "Phantom kicks" were your mind/body experience traits like you were still pregnant.

I figured by now I would be 100% but at least once a week I get extremely depressed, curl up and cry. Mainly for whats not going to happen. In a few weeks I am not going to go in for a C-Section, I am not going to be bringing home my #3 the way, 33 weeks ago, I thought I would.

When I get upset, I am reminded of the day I sat in church, sobbing, feeling God calling us to adopt. It is the only thought that has allowed me comfort in this. That day was profound day. It was God, speaking to me. To love a child that didn't grow inside of me. But was created for me. After 2 years of a crazy adoption ride there is a chance we are getting close to bringing our #3 home.

I have learned that even though you feel like things are going great and are own track, sometimes God takes over the wheel and you take a detour route. To you, that detour route doesn't seem like the best route. But God, he knows best.

Some of the things I have seen take place over the months since the miscarriage is the following:
1) Todd's mom had a stroke when I would have been about 24 weeks. That is the same time I went into preterm labor with Madyson. The stress that caused on our family would not have been good for a high-risk pregnancy.

2)When Todd left his former job for his current job we lost our insurance for 60 days. Yes we could have paid for Cobra for me but the cost of that would have been 2x our mortgage. For a high-risk pregnancy 60 days without insurance is a lot.

I say all this to conclude to this. God has plans for us. I know that he will allow us to bend but never break.

He works miracles and who knows...in a few weeks, we could still be bringing our #3 home.

Thanks for continuing the journey with me.

When Life Hands You Lemons....

I have heard this statement used so many ways.

When Life hands you lemons....
.... make lemonade....
....add vodka and have a party.....
...be grateful you got something....
...alter their DNA and make super lemons...

You get the idea. The common statement meaning make the best of a bad situation can be altered to how you handle it.

The past few days have just been really "sour". We worked all weekend for our Homestudy on Tuesday only to get a call Monday afternoon to find out our caseworker had an Emergency court case and would not be able to see us. Meaning, we will have a new case worker now, because ours retires this friday.

Which is really hard, bc we had developed a bond with her, she knew us and now we are going to have to do this with someone who doesn't know us as well. And, that means this process again, will take longer :(


Also, some other stuff went down that will drastically effect our family. (it doesn't have to do with the adoption but it is pretty serious) I will discuss it more, when I am a liberty too, but right now I want to take my lemons and throw them back at life and tell them to keep it.

Which is not what I should do at all. I should be grateful I got something and take them and make them super instead of sour.

Right now the Broadus' are standing at a crossroads trying to figure out which path to take. We are leaning on God to direct us in this. And asking for friends and family to pray for us.

We have decided that EVEN number years are hard for our family. And this one is no different. Todd, Mr. Positive, says our lemons are just the door to endless possibilities. He says its a new opportunity for our family. That is why he is the leader of this bunch, and not I. I want to attack Life with its lemons...he wants to add sugar and water and make it great.

Quick Adoption Update

We received a call yesterday that our Home study has been moved up! We will have a one day home study because our case worker is retiring soon and wants all her open cases done. So next Tuesday she will spend the day with us looking at our house, doing all the interviews with us etc. Then she will write up our home study and after that we will be certified to adopt! The greatest thing about this is that we literally could have a baby any time after that. It could be 2 days it could be 2 years. with Foster care adoptions its not a hop on the list and wait, its pretty much when a child meets your guidelines that's legal for adoption...you have a few meetings/visits, then the overnights start, then home visits, then court.

Our guidelines are Newborn-Two years old. We didn't specify a gender or a race. This has been a HUGE discussion amongst our families and Todd and I really prayed hard about this decision.

When God called us to adopt, we both knew it. It was if he was standing in front of us giving us clear directions. Neither of us heard "international" although we did pray for it. We, on our own, thought agency infant adoption. But that wasn't His plan. His plan was a foster care adoption and that was made clear to us during our Adoption classes. So, after much prayer we felt that we couldn't put a limit on a gender (although Todd and Madyson really want a boy and Aubrie wants a girl...I just want a healthy one!) nor race. We are all children of God. We teach our children to love others regardless of skin color.
And whatever child God chooses for us, He chose for a reason. And we will love that child forever.

So why did we choose an age range? Simple. We wanted to stay in birth order. Madyson is a very, very good "Big Sister" she takes that role very seriously. Aubrie Kate is now use to the idea (after 2 years of talking about it) about becoming a big sister. She knows our baby isn't growing in Mommy's belly, but in someone elses and that it might come to us and big a little bigger than a tiny baby or it might have brown skin, or yellow skin, or pink skin (she says she has pink skin) but it was created just for us.

So, after months of prayer we felt that staying in birth order was the best choice for our family.

Now the fun begins! With the knowledge that we could have a baby anytime we have to prepare somewhat. But since we can't buy clothes, diapers, or such..we are just gathering the basics (bed, a few outfits...etc)

Happenings

Life Action is over. I am so sad. I really do enjoy coming to church everyday and being fed the word of God. Once they leave, its reality and I know have to do it own my own. I can though.

The greatest thing about Life Action is last night, my dad was in church. Its been a long time since he sat in church for something other than a funeral, wedding, or musical performance. I was so happy he was there.

There has been alot going on in our family so lets catch up, shall we? and excuse the terrible phone photos, my big camera is in todd's truck and I keep forgetting to get it out!

Madyson and her class had a field trip to the Rodeo. Then they had a "Cowboy Lunch" afterwards.

Aubrie Kate had a school music class "parent's day" she loves singing and music.

Finally, after 2 years of praying, wrong roads, etc. Todd and I have completed our 15 hours of adoption training, turned in all paper work, been fingerprinted, and tested for TB.

Next we have our homestudy update then it will be baby time. We have a prospective mom, but we are also looking into the foster system at ages 2 and under. No decisions have been made, because we haven't felt a direct answer from God on which way to go. We knew though we had to finish all this first.

These are my new obsession. I adore them. I also like the smore flavor. great for a quick snack. 

We survived valentines day! more on that saturday. Here are the valentines I made for Aubrie's class. Thank you Pintrest!

This weekend we are taking a quick get-a-way to visit Todd's dad, stepmom, and brother. We are excited about our little road trip!

Teaching Life Group and 3 orphaned no more!

Our Life Group has this "fun" thing we do, where we all sign up for different bible lessons and take turns teaching them. It allows you to get back to the basics of the bible and practice your teaching skills.

Last night was my night to teach. My story was Moses and the Red Sea. If you haven't read it...click here. 

After I taught, I was suppose to lead the group in discussions with a list of questions that were provided. One of the question is: "Who are you most like in the story"...usually I have a hard time answering this question but this time I did not.

I am most like the Israelites as they are crossing the desert..."Why did you bring us out here to die?
Leave us alone let us serve the Egyptians"...here was a group of people who God had protected through it all, yet they still didn't believe that he was in control. It took walls of water and dry sea land for them to stop and "be still" and KNOW that he was Lord.

So many days I try to be in control, this is a topic I have discussed alot on this blog. And last night was a huge reminder that I need to be still and let God do His plan.

After group, I was up most of the night, praying for Ashley and Kurt as they finally got to meet their son Liam. Also this morning I read on facebook were a friend of mine's sister who has been trying to adopt for 2 years was accepted and now is the mother of 2 beautiful girls! that is THREE children in 24 hours that are orphaned no more! I can't wait to add our #3 to that list!

^.....14 The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still"

eh...Love Day 2011

I am about to give up on my precious love day. It seems that every year something happens! Here we go with the details!

Friday the girls had their party at school! When they got home it was "go through the vday bags" Here they are with some of their loot!

Friday night we had game/movie night. We watched movies, played with toys, just hung out. Todd surprised me with a little bracelet he picked up before coming home.

it says "I'm A Sweetheart for Adoption"-I loved that he was thinking about our "TBD child". He got each of us one! and I love it!

At 3:45am I wake up to Todd yelling "Sarah, She Can't Breathe".---thanks babe. So of course I pop up and come out of the comatose state that I was in to find Madyson standing in the door of the hallway coughing up a lung. Once I realize a) she can breathe or she wouldn't be coughing. b) I am not dreaming this is real life.
I go into mommy mode. Get her some water, help her catch her breath, get her settled down, take her temp (99.9) gave her some Tylenol- put her back in bed. Then I miraculously  (bc normally I am awake after an adventure) go back to sleep.

8:45 the alarm goes off and love day starts! The girls woke up to a few surprises!

Then we headed out to Dunkin Donuts for Breakfast!

 We had not been there 10 minutes when Madyson starts shaking saying how cold she was. So we load up in the car and head to walgreens. There I pick up some stuff because I know what is coming...the flu.

We get home, get her changed and get her into bed. Aubrie decides to hang out in the playroom and take advantage of sister being sick..and play with her toys.

Madyson sleeps through the afternoon and evening. Todd and I decide to call in my mom to sit with her while we take Aubrie to an early valentines dinner (4:30) we go to my favorite "family spot" Rooster's in Fondren.

We all eat a yummy dinner and call and check on Madyson. She is still asleep, so we decide to head to ToysRus to look at some stuff for Aubrie's birthday (more on that tomorrow) We pick up the Wii game "Smarty Pants" and I let Aubrie pick out a little toy for herself and for sister! When we get home Madyson's fever is 102 and she is super "hungry" so luckily I brought her some yummy macncheese (her favorite) from Roosters and some Banana Pudding. She doesn't eat a bite...which confirms flu.

Sunday, Todd got up and went and taught my 2 year old class and his 6th grade boys class. (husband of the year?) when he got home Madyson was still super sick and Aubrie was showing signs. So we laid low and decided to watch the grammys (that post will come on Thursday....)

Yesterday, I took Madyson to the doctor and they confirmed flu (duh) and gave her some meds and got us all  "prepared" for it to spread. Tamiflu for Valentines!! Yes! We came home and hung out just relaxed. You never realize how much having a sick kid can drain you!

Todd and I worked out our schedules so we could both work and both be home. I work the mornings and he works the afternoons. Again, so thankful that we both have jobs that are flexible and allow us to put our family first.

So that was our Valentines Love Day! How was yours?!?!

2010-Farewell! Hello 2011!!!!

 Hello: I debut January 2009 with Confessions of a Shopaholic. One of my most candid post
Here I told you I spend way to much money on junk-and shouted out a few more goals for the year! How did I do?
Shopping: Better. I became alot of more frugal and less Dependant on wal-mart and target

 spend Saturday mornings with the girls doing crafts, cooking, playing and less running around.-yes! And boy was it fabulous! 


 Saying no more often and sticking with it. I did this too-it wasn't always fun but in the end-was needed.

Care less about "not being part of the crowd" This year has really taken a toll on me when I receive invitations to showers and such and I was not asked to be a hostess. I have got to realize High school is over and this is aminuscule thing.  I did do this. And I am proud to say that I am comfortable now in my adult skin


 read 2 books a month. I know for you readers two doesn't seem like alotbut I don't read. I mean I just got my first library card! so I am starting off with a goal I think I can do and If I get to read more then great!! I read a total of 31 books this year! so I did a few more than 2 a month


 Witness to people and not be scared to talk about my faith openly. and do a devotion everyday! I pray everyday but this past year I got so overwhelmed with everything I forgot to do my devotions, which is something I miss!! Devotions and praying were a big part of 2010. I believe that I did a much better job on this goal than the others. 

Do more charity work. Could do better-Can't wait to tackle 2011!

be more patient with Todd. I am Italian. I have a streak that erupts when I get frustrated/tired/or upset...and Todd usually gets the grunt of it. He works so hard for our family to provide me with the lifestyle I like, I sometimes take it for granted. So I will say thank you more and whine less.
After writing this I developed a mindset "he is an amazing husband who works way to hard, I will serve him more and say thank you a lot. 2010 was a great year in the marriage department



Throw at least 2 bags of "junk" out a month. I rocked this one out

 Put my meals into recipes. I don't cook from a recipe...everything is "up here" but every now and then I have a friend ask me how to make something and I literally can't tell them. So in 2010, I want to be able to share my food! did not even start on this-actually had forgotten

Not let laundry get overwhelming. This is something I have to do! I will wait (literally) until our closets are empty of seasonally clothing because I hate to do laundry. Not in 2010!! SAD but There have been weeks were I didn't do it. Yes WEEKS...so I think this one is a FAIL. 







So whats on the list for 2011! Well its long-I want to do a lot this year to grow as a person, a mom/wife, and as a family.


Personal goals:
1) learn to make a souffle 
2) Make Bread
3) MAKE MY COOKBOOK
4) create a cleaning schedule and stick with it
5) Laundry-again...it can not win in 2011
6) Keep Junk Out lets up it to 3 bags a month
7) Keep my car clean


To Grow as a Person
1) Dedicate a minimum of 5 hours a month to charity work 
2) continue to read Christian books-4 a month. 
3) Make God first in the morning. 5:30-Is God's Time.
4) Less Television. I max of 7 hours a week. I waste too much time with the "idiot box" as my Maw calls it.
5) Have coffee or ice cream or lunch with 1 friend a month. Who wants to be first?


To Grow as a Wife/Mom
1) Continue to value Todd's hard work and remember to say thank you and I love you all the time.
2) Have a mommy/daughter date with each girl individually a month. 
3) Have a girls day with both of them-doing whatever THEY want to do.
4) schedule date nights/or golf days with Todd. Sometimes he needs some him time. 


To Grow as a Family:
1) Prayer time each day together-to pray as a family
2) continue movie night
3) To do 1 charity project every 3 months as a family. 
4) To continue to teach our children about loving and serving others 
5) Create a "house project" for the 4 of us to do.
6) Continue to pray and pursue our newest member. Adoption is a scary yet exciting time and we all will go through it together-with God leading the way!


I am so excited about 2011 and all that it is going to hold! What are your goals for the year!?

The Longest Post in Blogger History.....

So, if your computer shuts down during the loading of this post, I do apologize! I am sorry I have been absent for a while! With Todd's knee surgery and Fall Harvest at the church....life had been Crazy!!

So lets start where I left off....

Todd is doing great from his surgery! The doctor was very pleased at the post-op exam and thinks he will be able to heal without therapy!

I finished the girls costumes!! Madyson was Strawberry Shortcake this year. She has all the sudden taken a HUGE liking to this character.



Aubrie was Abby Cadabby!

Madyson had a field trip to the pumpkin patch! It was alot of fun!

We went to the Fall Carnival in our hometown! The girls had alot of fun getting candy! My niece, Emma, won 1st place in her age division for the costume contest!

Todd's business had a city wide costume contest to see which branch could dress/decorate their office the best. Todd's Branch won!! They did a batman theme! Here is the goofy group! (when you have 2 big guys in lycra you are kind of a shoe-in)

Fall Festival at the church was fabulous this year! (makes you feel really good when all your planning goes accordingly!) I did find some stuff I want to change for next year (usually do) but other than that, I was very pleased!

Can you say, sugar high????

Now for some bigger stuff!

If you remember this post, you know that adoption has been on my heart for a while(actually one year ago from today!)Well, I mentioned it to Todd but at the time, he wasn't ready. That was okay! I spent the next few months just praying that God would speak to him on this topic. Over the summer, I had a little boy from our local children's home in my Sunday School Class. I fell in love with this child. Every Sunday, when he would leave. My heart would break. One Sunday, I finally just broke down and told Todd how I wanted him to come live with us. He agreed. He said, "Lets bring him home". Well, it wasn't that simple. He wasn't a ward of the state yet, so he was unadoptable. And turns out, for the better...he is back with his family. It took alot of time for my heart to heal. I was sure God wanted him to be our son. I was wrong....

A few months past and Todd and I began talking again about adopting. We adore our two girls, to bits and pieces but we know 3-4 is our number. We began talking to Madyson about adoption. I explained my adoption story to her as best as I could. I showed her pictures of orphans and explained how God allowed those children to be born, and has a special mommy and daddy waiting on them. She turned to me and said, "Why don't we have those kids come live with us, I am a great big sister, and you and daddy are special."---affirmation.

All of the sudden, I noticed a trend. 1/2 of the blogs I was following were adoption blogs. Honestly, I never thought much about it. I just liked reading about everyones lives.

So, there is our big news. We are going to adopt a child. The next step is, waiting on God to show us where from. This process is new, and we are still learning. We have begun conversation with All God's Children's and a few local adoption agencys. We are in the early stages of this process and both know it is going to be a LONG haul. But we are ready.

Most of the people we have shared this with are excited for us. Some say, "you are going to start this adoption and get pregnant." Our response is usually, "okay". We both feel that God is in control of our lives and that no matter what, this is what he wants us to do.

So there is our big news! We are on the "adoption bandwagon" as some call it. We are going to a workshop this weekend with our blog friends The Braddy's, we are excited to go through this and can't wait to see where God is taking us!

Nor Flesh of my Flesh or Bone of my Bone, but still miraculously my own. Don't forget for even a minute, you grew not under my heart, but in it.

Since posting that I would be going to California to visit my biological dad and siblings, I have received a few emails wanting me to address my adoption story in detail. So Here I Go.

When I was 6 days old I was adopted. I never went through foster care or lived in an orphanage. I went straight from my biological parents arms to my parents arms with just a 3 hour car ride separating the two. 

My parents had begun the adoption process and even though they had no idea of how soon a baby would arrive, they put a baby crib up in January of 84. They prayed to God for either a baby to come or the desire to have one to leave. They wanted nothing more than a precious little boy. That's right BOY.

One night shortly before I was even born, my grandmother had a dream about holding a baby girl in her arms. She called my mother the next day and described this baby in a white gown, with a little red heart at the bottom. 

The night I arrived in Jackson was a stormy Friday night. The social worker called from a gas station and asked if she could stop by for a visit. They didn't think anything other than she had more paper work for them to fill out.

When she arrived, she was holding a baby. Again, they didn't think anything about it because she had just had a baby of her own. My mom asked to hold the baby and she said, "Sure, she is yours." 

From this point in the story I have heard 2 versions. 1) that my mom screamed, wouldn't hold me and ran and stuck her head in the freezer because she was about to pass out from over excitement. 

2) that she held me and cried for hours. I personally believe the 1st version because most of the witnesses that night  went with this one. 

Like I said, they had a baby bed up, but nothing else. They didn't know I was arriving. So my aunts went out in the rain and bought diapers, and bottles, and formula, and clothes, and blankets and everything they could fit into their cars.

They say within hours the house was flooded with people. 

My mother received a gift, that I still have...holding on to it, incase I ever have my adopted child.

It says "Nor Flesh of my Flesh, Nor Bone of my Bone but still miraculously my own. Don't forget for even a minute, you grew not under my heart but in it."

I have asked my mom so many times how she instantly loved me? I literally was dropped into their lives and they were expected to care for me. She told me that she knew the second she saw me that God had created me for her and that she felt blessed to be able to be my mother.

And the baby in the white dress? Well, my mom and grandma found the exact dress in a local department store, but the only thing missing was the red heart at the bottom. Turns out...on my leg is a birthmark that looks like a red heart. (yes, this is a true story)

Fast forward 22 years later. I am a mother of 1 now, and a wife. I go to sit down at my computer to check my myspace account and I have a message. "Is your maiden name Scott and were you adopted". This was the statement that changed my life. After about 2 hours of dialogue, I have met my biological dad, Bob. We talked on the computer for a few days. I had to absorb all the information and thought that now I have a piece of me I never knew. Our first phone call was long....and awkward. I had so many questions to ask, but couldn't get them out. I just wanted to know everything about him. I remember telling him I had to be guarded because of all the weirdos out in the world. 

about 10 months later, the day had come. Bob, his wife Paula, and my two little brothers drove from California to Mississippi to meet me for the first time. I had just had Aubrie Kate and I was a wreck. I remember my heart pounding. My mom sitting with me in excitement and sadness at the same time. She was happy for me and thrilled to meet Bob but now she felt like she had another person to share with me, and the jealousy of that took a toll on her for the day. My dad, who never shows emotion, was just all okay with it...well at least he says he was. 

Bob called to say they were in the neighborhood. and I hugged Todd. I knew at that moment my life was going to turn upside down. When I answered the door, trying to hold it together I saw a man that I had heard of my whole life. See my parents had the description of Bob from the social worker, "Good looking, dark,Italian. Dark eyes, dark hair." and as our eyes met...I felt our souls reconnect. I knew this man before.

They came in, everyone hugged, my aunt and my mom said thank you to Bob about a million times. I think everyone was in tears at some point. 

They stayed for a few days and celebrated Easter with us. Luckily, I was on maternity leave so I got to hang out with them. It was a great visit.

About 8 months later, Paula came back for a girls visit. She is so amazing. She has loved and accepted me from day 1. She doesn't have to treat me like a child of hers. But she does, and I love her for that.

Now in 7 days we will all be back together under 1 roof. Besides the whole flying deal, the hardest part I am having is making sure my parents are okay with this. Family is a huge part of my life. HUGE. Their feelings are top priority. My mom and I talked about it the other night and I understand where she is coming from with her feelings. But what broke my heart the most was when she told me my dad was having a hard time as well. 

I have explained to both of them that they are my parents. They are the ones that loved me and nurtured me through all of my life. They are the ones that taught me my morals and my values. 

The greatest thing about Bob & Paula is that they has never "pushed" themselves on me. They have always been respectful of my parents and their feelings. I am comfortable with the labels of "dad" and "other mom or step mom" for Bob and Paula. But with respect of my parents, I simple refer to them Biobob and Paula. Madyson however has created her own names "Gigi Paula and GranBob". I think the GIGI part came from her favorite book GIGI, God's little princess. Paula resembles a grown Gigi. 

As an "adopted" child. I have a passion for families that want to adopt. I know it is a scary and costly situation but it can be a blessing for you and for that child. If Todd and I ever decide to adopt it will be a child from America. Probably between the ages of 3-7. I know that there are children around the world that need a home, but I feel for the kids here in America that sit and wait for a family to love them.

I truly am blessed that God gave me to my parents and then gave Bob to me. 

He did it at just the right time in my life. My mom asked me how it felt to have Bob apart of my life now. I told her the same as before, now just a few questioned answers the the little bit of a hole I had filled. She asked me what hole, and this was the hardest part to explain. I never, ever in my life have felt "not loved." I have always been the opposite. TOTALLY LOVED. but there was that hole or void in my life that always wondered, "Why wasn't I loved by them." Once I met Bob and he told me he had wondered all these years if he did the right thing, I knew I was loved. He loved me enough to let me go to have an amazing life. and he continued to love me throughout the years. Does this make sense?

Now the most asked question I receive is "what about your biological mother"? Well, I have never met nor spoken with her. BUT that is because of me. I know her name, what she looks like and some stuff about her from my sister Renea. And I love her, Renea and little sister Mary just as much as Bob & his family. But , out of respect for my mother I have chosen to not meet my biological mom yet. 
I want to make sure my mom is comfortable with the situation in hand before moving on. Thankfully, I have Renea (who I cannot wait to hug one day!!) who keeps me updated on her. One day we will meet, but right now, I have to respect my mother's feelings. 

As a tie in to my adoption story, I found this wonderful inspiration over at the Lancaster's page

A family named the the Oberhausers that are trying to adopt a child from Eastern Europe. Like I said, I love family so much. And my heart is warmed that this family is extended its love to another child that needs it.

The best part is an etsy store as jumped on the Oberhausers journey to bring their baby home. , Leah Larae Baby, is helping with their cause! From now until March 31st, she is donating 20% of her sales to the Oberhauser family. 

All you have to do is go and purchase an adorable outfit or gift from her site!

If you would like to help promote this cause here is the information:

Then this is from the Oberhausers:

The owner of this on-line shop contacted us today and offered to donate $1 for each time someone tweets, blogs, or uses facebook to promote this sale (up to $100)! So, if you feel so led, please promote this sale by using this link on your facebook account, blog, or Twitter account:
http://www.etsy.com/shop/leahlaraebabyshop

Then, send a link of your "promotion" to the following e-mail addresses:

jen.christians@gmail.com
marknjoni@hotmail.com

Thank you for helping bring Vanya home! Adopted for Life, The Oberhausers 

Serving Christ by serving the orphans among us.

oYesterday at Church we had Dr. Russell Moore, Executive Vice-President and Dean of the School of Theology at the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, KY, come and speak to us on adoption and how to serve Christ by serving the orphans among us.

His message really struck home with me since I am an adoptee. He spoke about all the little children all across the world that are being told how worthless they are, how nobody cares about them, how they are born and just put aside because some adults feel that they are "in the way".

I was born on July 6, 1984 to Robert and Rebecca Musso in Tupelo, MS. They were a young couple that hadn't been together long and "Becky" had a daughter from a previous relationship. After I was born they decided that things weren't going to work out and that I needed to be put up for adoption. The social worker picked me up and delivered me to my parents (Johnny and Debbie Scott) that night.

For 23 years I knew I was adopted. I knew a little about the Musso's and I was okay with being adopted. My parents took great care of me and I couldn't have been more blessed.

Then 2 years ago the Myspace message came up that changed my life forever. "Were you adopted?" this person wrote....I responded with a "yes" and then the information came flooding out. It was Robert "Bob", my biological father. He found me through a social network and some detection work.

From that point my life went from being normal to being crazy. Not only did I have my mom and dad and 1/2 brother/sister Wesley and Shannon, I had Bob, his new wife Paula, my two 1/2 brothers Tristen and Gauge...I then found my sister Renea. I have never talked to Becky my biological mother, but that is okay. Thanks to Renea I have seen pictures of her and my aunts/cousins/grans and my little sister Mary.

I believe that God was in control of all of this. I believe that he knew that I would need my parents to raise me, I don't think anyone else would have put up with me. =) I believe he knew I needed Bob to find me when he did. Having all the medical information about your past when you are pregnant with a baby sure does help!

I believe that God's hands lead me to find Renea as fast as I did. Even though it was rough at first, I love her and feel more connected to her than the sister I have known my whole life.

Back to the church service with Dr. Moore, I began to weep during the service. My heart was aching. Todd and I are so blessed with Madyson and Aubrie Kate but we do want more children. We have always said 3 or 4. It was like God knocking at my heart saying, this is where you need to get broadus #3 from. Let this child be born in your heart.

I think it touched Todd too, after the service while I was cleaning up my face, he went and picked up information about adoption at kiosk.

We decided that we are going to pray about it, take our time, but really allow God to guide us. If he has created a child in the world for us, he will lead us to them. We just have to be open for his guidance.