there's no sunshine when it rains.

the past 24 hours have been a world wind of emotions and I am blogging this not to complain-but to document our journey.


Yesterday-I received a call from one of the caseworkers at DHS. She said that they were getting ready to match our file (meaning match us to a child) when they realized they didn't have our fingerprints. Perplexed. I told her we had them done already. She asked if we could come in and redo them because apparently they had lost them (they are electronic?) I said sure and set an appointment for 11am today. Todd has to take off work for each appointment we have-then has to drive 30 minutes to meet me at the DHS office.

So this morning I get up, get the kids ready and head out the door. Todd meets us there and He waits in the car with the kids while I go in to do mine first (they don't have enough room for the whole bunch in the tiny office) I go in, go upstairs, and ask to see the caseworker that is doing our prints. She comes out, we go down stairs, down a long hall, to the finger print office. Only to find....the door is locked. The lady who's office is in the finger print office didn't come into work today (and yes, she knew we were coming at 11) and no one else had a key. So as I am filling up with tears, the caseworker says "I don't know why yall have to come back anyway....we have your prints right here" and proceeds to show me the finger prints for attempt 1. ?!?! then she begins "oh yea, your caseworker needs you to fill this out too. She says she doesn't have it." its a living will form, that we turned in MONTHS ago.

So I tell her we've already turned it in. and she says, maybe it got lost. THIS FORM HAS PERSONAL INFORMATION ON IT! SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBERS AND SUCH!! Aggravated, I follow her back up to her office where she just says "I'm sorry"... I begin to cry explaining how I don't understand when everything is in our file why I am even here and not leaving with a child and pretty much begin to have a breakdown.

I just walk out. It was the best thing for the both of us.

Once I got in the car, explained it all to Todd. He leaves to go back to work.

I just begin to pray. This entire journey to our #3 has been emotional and a complete roller coaster. I know God is in control and I am thankful he is. But back and forths, ups and downs are extremely tiring on emotions.

Praying it all gets straightened out soon.