On March 1, my precious precious "Maw" passed away. We were prepared and were ready, we thought. But I don't think it's until they are really gone do you feel.
Maw was my best adult friend growing up. I loved being with her and she taught me so much.
She was the volunteer for my preschool and kindergarten classes-she loved to come and help. She would pick me up from school in "old Bessie" and we would go home and have a chicken patty and fruit and if it was a good day-some cheese slices too.
She taught me about gardening. As a child I would hang in her magnolia trees while she tended to her lavish garden.
When the weather warmed up we would grab the cane poles and sit on the bank and fish. We also would sit on her back patio and make mudpies with fresh picked wild strawberries and leaves.
She would keep little special toys at her house for me-one was a my little pony magnetic board behind her chair. I would sit back there and play while she watched The Andy Griffith show.
The day my dog died-my mom picked me up from Maws house. I was hysterical in the car, when my mom told me. I screamed to let me go back. Maw'a house was a happy place. And I needed happy.
On Easter maw would have her siblings (there were 7 kids including her) over with all their kids and grand kids and we would have a large potluck Easter lunch and massive egg hunt. One of the highlights of the year was decorating her wisteria bush with Plastic Easter eggs.
When Maw got older (and I was in college) she became very sick. She lost her sodium in her body and in return developed Dementia.
She lived in an assisting living home for Years until one Easter-she almost burnt it down (on accident). It was then we made the decision to have her evaluated and plan on her moving to a nursing home.
Mom and I toured nursing homes. The thought of leaving Maw there was heartbreaking. With the stigma that comes with a nursing home we were shocked to discover we really liked it.
Her home was clean-she was on the dementia unit with just a few other ladies. It was quiet and calm and smelled pretty.
I picked maw up from the hospital, took her to Chickfila and drove her to the nursing home by myself. When we got there she was not a bit excited. She was mad. She kept telling me she didn't want to stay and that she didn't want a roommate. I kissed her and left. Over the next 4 years her mind left her more and more each day. For the longest time she hung on to my name. Until one day-it was gone. She couldn't remember me, or the great times we had. She didn't remember the mudpies or crossword puzzles or old Bessie. It was then I decided I needed to let Maw go. I visited until her body began to change and she became bed ridden. I couldn't see her like that.
Friday the 28th we closed on our house here in Mississippi. Saturday we were planning on heading to Mardi Gras. But at the last minute we stayed. I am so thankful we did. Maw died around 1 and mom, my SIL Megan, my aunt and I stayed in the room with Maw's little old body until they came to take her to the medical school.
See shortly after I turned 18 maw approached me with her life choice plan. She wanted to be donated to the medical research school here. She wanted them to learn and study from her. And at the time, my mom was totally against it. My aunt signed on witness 1 line and she needed two signatures. I agreed that it was a great idea if that is what she wanted and I signed.
As I sat in the chair in her nursing home room, next to her little lifeless body I kept thinking back to that day. 11 years ago she was planning for this very moment. I was proud to be her granddaughter then and I was proud at that very moment.
Maw was legally blind and couldn't see objects just shadows. How awesome was it that the first thing she saw after years of earthly blindness was the face of Jesus and heaven lights?
I was so blessed to have my grandmother for 29 years. I am so thankful for every little memory I have with her. She was the matriarch of our family and she was the most special Maw.
Thank you God for the promise that I will see her again-until then...I am sure she is enjoying John Wayne and Andy Griffith being up there with her :)
I love this post. Praying for you and your family.
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