10 years ago if you had of told 18 year old Sarah, "In 10 years you will be a mom, of 3 girls, you will live in the same house you grew up in, you will be involved in your church, you will be on PTO, and your life will be so chaotic that you will come unglued-a lot."
She would have said-you are flat out crazy.
See 18 year old Sarah had big plans-finish college-then go on to Culinary school-if kids came-it maybe 1 girl-but running a restaurant/event service company is a lot of work-so family would take a back seat. Church, PTO, not a chance. And a chaotic life? Coming unglued? Not so much. I can handle it all.
In recent years, I have discovered that I come unglued a lot more than I am proud of. My house is a wreck. I literally threw away/donated over 50 bags of stuff and I still can't get it together. I have a hard time trusting God on a day to day basis. And that my friend is just honest. I know in my heart of hearts that He has it all handled. He knows what is best for me and he knows the plan of my life-as long as I surrender. I tend to try to take the control away from Him-and when I do-life spirals out of control and I become unglued.
I snap a lot at my big girls. I am so ashamed of this. I thought I would be the cool mom that goes with the flow. I get frustrated when they don't put things back-when they cut apart my paper towels in the process of designing barbie clothes. When they take everything clean out of their drawers just to find their favorite pair of leggings. I yell and it is so hard. I have learned to apologize to the girls. And what a humbling experience it has been. Now that Madyson is old enough-she knows that when I snap-I need prayer. Once, I apologized for snapping after she asked for the 4th time in 20 minutes if we could play spa. Her response, "youre tired mommy, I'll pray for you to feel better."
I come unglued at Todd-. I snap when he doesn't get ALL the trash or when he leaves coke cans on the table-or eats cereal out of the BIGGEST bowl in the pantry. I am quick to apologize on this but still-I snap.
As a wife/mom I have a lot of expectations for myself. And when I fail at those-I become unglued.
I have begun a method of waiting before I respond. If I feel myself becoming unglued, I now stop-whatever I am doing-and I pray. My mantra lately has been Matt Maher's LORD I NEED YOU. I can't say I don't cry during this waiting time. But I feel myself being able to handle the stress/anxiety/frustration better.
My prayer is proverbs 16:3. Commit to the Lord, whatever you do; and your plans will succeed. One day-I will be able to handle situations better and more Christ like.
How do you handle your unglued moments?
Thank you for being honest about your struggles in trusting God. I too KNOW that He has it all handled but I still struggle with handing over ALL the control to Him.
ReplyDeleteSarah, I love your honesty! Thanks for linking up with us.
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