The Christmas Stocking

I haven't posted lately about Todd's mom. Right now we are all busy processing our thoughts of what life is going to be like without her. She recently spent the week in the hospital after being dehydrated and her potassium level dropping. She came home today and her once sewing room, where she made our precious Christmas Stockings years ago,has been converted into a hospital room-equipped with a hospital bed and home nurse.

Since Madyson's first Christmas we have had the same Christmas stockings. Todd's mom made them for us years ago and each year we continue to hang them by our chimney with care.

When Aubrie Kate came along-his mom stitched up another polka dot stocking and monogrammed it for us so she would have one to match.

And each year the girls have hung their stockings in hopes that St. Nicholas would soon be there.

This year is a bittersweet year. This will be the last Christmas with our polka dot stockings. This may possible be the last Christmas with Todd's mom (if she is still alive at Christmas). My heart aches to know that next year baby #3 will start our new stocking tradition and will more than likely start our new life without our precious "grandmomma"

I know it sounds wrong to "plan her gone" but reality is, she isn't getting better...only worse. And the Christmas Stockings are so special to me.

I think the hardest part of the journey with her cancer has been seeing her go from vibrant to non-self sufficent. She can no longer care for herself and can't do the little things we take for granted.

Please remember our family in your prayers. As we process the forcasted outcome, as we explain this to the girls, as we prepare our hearts for what is to come.

My verse I lean on through this is....

Preparing for a life with new christmas stockings in pain and in love....